This entry titled \”like the first time\” was what got me into the_reviewers lj community. My whole acceptance is almost like a crock since I deliberately put this entry up, knowing that people would be amazed by it. In fact, one reviewer accused me of making her smile on a bad day. She added me to her lj friends. In actuality, I had wrote in February after the horrible bar incident. And here somehow I was able to get over it, losing myself in a movie.

There some precious moments when you step outside on the pavement…and you look up to the sky for the very first time. The air is sweet. The sky although not the brightest blue has the same unbreakable hopes like you.

When I was younger, I always envied people who walked by, smiling and laughing. Like they\’re having the best of times. I always wondered why they were so happy. I was so jealous. And so is this the reason why?

I hate wearing jeans.

When I was younger, the only pants I wore were tights or coudroys. In fact, I remember debating with my mother how I did not want to wear jeans. Be like everyone else and feel uncomfortable?!?! I never liked how thick and uncomfortable jeans wore. As I got older, in high school, it seemed that the only way I could fit in…was to wear jeans. So I got my first pair of jeans in high school. A flared type from Express.

Then after that, I acquired approximately five more pairs of jeans. One was baggy style. Another was straight leg. Three were fitted–the kind that makes you scream in pain when you sit down. Sigh. I think I want to go back to my sweat pants stage. Or you know, not dress like a girl.

In my journey to go to graduate school, I was able to get the opportunity to do research with one of the graduate students at GUIR. Totally cool.

So our first collaborative paper was due today (although he wrote most of it, I did most of the interviews and evaluations for it). And I have my name at the top. :D It was amazing to see how graduate students manage to turn in papers. It\’s almost like my experience at my summer internship–adults getting so stressed out about dealing with clients.

I must admit my dedication to my job at Rescomp is too much sometimes. When residents come in with this puppy dog look of IHAVENOINTERNET, I can\’t help but go help them fix it. As a result, I got little studying done today. Blah.

There is this feeling that I can only get in the computer science hall in Berkeley. There is no other campus that I know of that has a large computer lab open 24/7 for students taking computer science classes. Indeed, it\’s that feeling you get at 3 am and the entire lab is totally full. It\’s almost like you\’re trapped on an island with all these people, but in this case you\’re trapped in a blue-tinted room with no cellular reception and horrible air circulation. And even when there are idiots making needless noise, there\’s just that feeling that you\’re part of something.

Despite all the tear-causing frusturation and irritation expressed by the dents on the computers, I am going to miss it next semester when i will be taking a non-technical courseload. Sigh!

If I am not like other girls who shop for 3 hours straight, then what is one thing that I really like to do?

College is one of the last places that you can talk smack about your \”superiors\” behind their back without any major repercussions (for example, right now how one of the instructors for my cs class is basically talking to herself during our review, thanks for the help). At least, I feel free to berate my professors and TAs here on their incompetence whereas I can\’t do the same about people at work.

Students are always allowed to be jaded or weary. But true workers are not. At least they need to keep it entirely internal.

And now the XMAS wishlist!

Sure, I can put up my amazon wishlist, but nobody can really afford most of what I want.

A long, thoughful hand-written letter sent not by e-mail, but by postal e-mail. I would give you thirty-seven cents too.

I have a question for everybody. And try to answer it honestly.

Where do you see your relationship with me in one year?

I called someone today. It was very interesting.

I have been admiring this entry for some time. And truthfully speaking, I just adore it. It\’s truthful and honest. I am not being sarcastic, mind you, but I can\’t help how much I know it\’s about ME ME ME! Well, I hope it\’s about me.
so frustrating. why is it always this huge game? why can\’t people just drop the gimmicks and be straight with one another? i seriously feel like i\’m back in elementary school.
\”you!\”
\”no, you!\”
\”no, you!\”
lame.
i know now why i hate drama so much. it\’s such a waste of time. just say what you mean and mean what you say.

DRAMAAAH QUEEN! ME ME ME!

My friend April got a job at Google! :D Congrats congrats!

And now, hopefully there will be hope for me this summer. I want to be an interaction designer!

I looked at the demographics for Lafayette (the city that I am originally from) and out of a population of 23908 people:
Caucasian 86.81%
Chinese 3.91%

Yes, I come from a white-dominant affluent neighborhood. What used to bother me was when my friends at Cal would always categorize me as someone who would never have financial troubles. Indeed, some people treated me as if I had been spoiled all my life. I am not poor, but I am not rich either! Sure, I don\’t currently pay for my own education but that doesn\’t mean that I go out and hand out money.

One of the greatest insults I have ever received is when someone said (in reference to my financial \”comfort\”), she\’s that way because of her parents.