Argh I am so obsessed. I spent the last hour looking through orkut, thefacebook, and friendster finding old classmates from high school. Awhile ago, I was adamnant against attending my high school reunion. But now, I am just curious about how everyone has changed. I am not missing the people, but it\’s just how the outcasts have turned into jocks and how the jocks have turned into couch potatoes.

There are some classmates I recognized…who are now married. And have kids. What happened? I am not even close to being attached to anyone. And having kids is far far in the future. There are some that I thought would be at the community college forever and would study to be a car salesman. But I was wrong, they strived and they are at Berkeley. There are some who reinvented themselves when they went to college (I guess I would be one of these people). I saw a geek that wasn\’t well accepted was now…admired by many (according to the testimonals, but testimonals are a façade) and is the founder of the athletic club for engineers at ucla. Wait, what happened?

I have always wondered what my high school classmates remembered me as. I am thinking that socially awkward girl, the one who never said anything, the one who just didn\’t fit in, just didn\’t have the right words, the right clothes, but she was so smart.

So I look through orkut and recognize some names. At my mini-reunion three years ago for my advanced math class, I became a wreck because I thought I wasn\’t able to reinvent myself. I had stood with my former classmates crumbling upon myself, because I still couldn\’t fit in. And now, I feel like I could. It doesn\’t matter anymore. Most of us don\’t associate with each other. We are so past that. Like one fellow classmate said at that mini-reunion, \”I just don\’t know these people anymore.\”

Four years ago on November 7th, 2000 I wrote in my journal:

My mom noted to the entire household, \”Bush is not a handsome man. Gore is a handsome man. People are going to vote for Gore. I am going to vote for Gore, because he\’s handsome and if I was younger, I would want to marry him.\”

So much for that. Four years ago on that Tuesday November 7th, I had forgotten to send in my absentee ballot and I couldn\’t get to my district\’s polling station because I was still in Berkeley on a school day.

Four years ago, I was an innocent freshman at Berkeley. I was less pessimistic. I was less cynical. I was ready to tackle the world. In 4 years, I express my emotions upfront. I am less afraid now. Yet, don\’t we all want to return to that innocence? Four years ago, I thought I was starting over. The world was supposed to follow in turn. Four years ago, I wouldn\’t have thought I would be here.

Then again, I never ever thought that far in the future.

I never knew how spoiled I was in Berkeley until I came to Pittsburgh without a car and without leeching from parents. And not to mention how not health-conscious or environmentally-conscious this area is. My parents drove me. Or I sometimes drove myself to the supermarket. And I sometimes even drove other people to the supermarket.

In Berkeley, I had a choice of four supermarkets within a mile of the campus. The Berkeley Bowl, Andronico\’s, TWO Safeways, and Whole Foods. And a Farmer\’s market. And an Oakland Chinatown just a 20 minute BART ride away. Because I lived so close to home, I also had access to all the other stores – Food 4 Less, Costco…and my mother\’s kitchen. My parents brought me prepared meals in little boxes every week, since they lived only 15 minutes away (by car). When my family went to Oakland for dimsum and the like, I would often bring back leftovers. Money out of my own pocket? Nothing.

In Pittsburgh, I have only a choice of only one supermarket within a mile. Giant Eagle. Which is located every other mile. And the only competitor? Whole Foods, which is more than a mile away. There\’s some store similar to Foods 4 Less called Shop \’N Save which is a 30 minute bus ride plus 90 minute train ride. I sometimes skip meals. Or sometimes I plan my meals for the day around free food events on campus. If Costco was nearby, I would go every day for lunch. I just walked from Giant Eagle. About 3 blocks away. Too close to take the bus, but too far to carry so much. But I stupidly decided to buy a lot of stuff (10 for $10 sale!!!). And spent more than 30 minutes struggling with five heavy bags (actually it was originally 8, but I stuffed some into other bags). My hands hurt now.

I saw THE INCREDIBLES today. It was better than Team America. And Harry Potter. And…I suppose I <3 Huckabees. Better than the last three movies I saw. I also saw the Iron Chef. But no I didn\’t get to taste any of his food. I also got a paper cut. On my right ring finger. I was trying to put up a poster that fell off the door my principal investigator\’s office (for my methods lab project). It was a poster about the seminar series. I went to the copy room and graciously gave myself a huge finger bandaid from the first aid supply closet. Yeah.

Accents really bother me. During my freshman year at Berkeley, I had an ethnic studies professor who was British. Of course, I couldn\’t pay attention in class because I was so immersed in how she pronouced certain words. Then I would practice saying those words in accented British myself while she talked about Cuban politics and immigration policies. I got a B+ in that class, by the way. It\’s so hard for me to pay attention when the speaker has an accent that I just lose myself in the manner of speech rather than the content. But how about me? People often say I have a slight accent too. A jennism accent that I created all by myself since I just never spoke.

And I got this from Angie:

The day after, you wake up and you smell the air. Something just isn\’t right. What I wonder is why half of the America voted for Bush and the other half voted for Kerry. Seems like we have a split America. At the same time, there are liberals that \”hate\” the conservatives. Yet, every day, we don\’t use that to categorize ourselves. I know I meet conservatives every so often…and it\’s not their political standing that defines who they are. Yet as the morning after, as a liberal, we think WHY!??! and we immediately point to the right. At this stage, it\’s hard to really define what (and who) is right for the country. I personally think we should all split into smaller nations (a true Athens?), but of course there is always one nation that becomes dominant, wants more land, wants more resources…and has the wmd.

Being around such politically active people, I went to the polling station even though I didn\’t get my registration card. I was able to cast my vote on a provisional ballot since they couldn\’t my name on the voter registration list. I had brought along a bank statement to show proof of residency (I have been in PA for more than 30 days) but strangely enough, they didn\’t check my id.

Of course, everyone knows who I voted for. But in PA, it is about making your voice heard since PA is supposedly a swing state. I got to the Jewish Community Center around 9:40 am. It was full of elderly people. Some in a Tai Chi class. Many sitting at the tables for bake sales. The voting machines (not paper ballots like they have in California in Contra Costa County) were huge. You pushed a lever to cast a ballot then the polling volunteers would reset the machine for the next voter. It seemed that this would be more accurate than any ballot since the only reading errors are by the users themselves.

Best hint for choosing your next president: vote for the lesser of the two evils.

The two secrets for being a successful person (so far in my own experience) is just the following:
1. apologize. Say you\’re sorry. Take the blame for things even if you don\’t think you should be at fault. It\’s surprising how people suddenly yield to sympathy when they hear an apology.
2. show gratitude. Thank them. Show as much appreciation as possible. People often get easily wrapped up in resentment. People want to feel important and this is the best way to show that you do appreciate all that someone has done. Even if it\’s fake?

Ok, that sounded like manipulation. Methods of manipulation?

Today, as I went for a jog in Squirrel Hill (the neighborhood where I live in Pittsburgh), I saw the many Kerry/Edwards signs. Apparently CMU is 70% pro-Kerry according to a recent poll. But we\’ll see what will happen. I didn\’t get my registration card still although I sent in my form more than a month ago. This means I\’ll have to fill out a provisional ballot. Although, at the same time, I am missing out on voting on the propositions in California. Don\’t ban gay marriages. Let stem cell research go on. And allow women have the right to choose.

There are some countries out there that makes it a national holiday when it\’s election day. Why not November 2nd?

Right smack in the middle of the afternoon, I trekked to Rite Aid and bought bags of candy.

Then yesterday evening, I sat by the front door waiting…and waiting…for trick-or-treaters. In the end, only two groups (four kids total) came to my door. and I was excited! But you see, back in Lafayette, nobody ever came to our door because the house was on a long driveway. A dark scary one. And so, I was happy that kids actually came. All dressed up.