Grades are not supposed to define who we are, yet when typecasted as the intelligent student, we let grades determine our goodness. In high school, I used to prefer tests over projects. In fact, when a teacher handed out an anonymous survey asking the class how they preferred the class to be run, I wrote out of sadism, \”Longer essays. More tests.\”

Back then, I knew how to \”cheat\” the system. I rarely studied and was a slacker really. The only moments that I can recall doing anything academically productive at my desk was doing homework. Particularly the math homework.

After more than 6 years of college, I realize that tests aren\’t everything. Tests suck, simply put. That is why I was able to \”cheat\” the system in high school without really learning anything. They test whether you know how the professor thinks is important and whether you know how take a test. This points out the failure of such aptitude tests such as the SAT and the GRE. I did above the mean on both, but not extraordinarily well. What none of these tests do is find out an individual\’s drive for potential.

This morning, I woke up from a nightmare where I failed a course. I argued with the professor saying that the F was unwarranted that even though I wasn\’t an ideator or a natural speaker, it was unfair to receive such a poor grade. She looked at me with pity and apologized saying that was what the syllabus from the very beginning had stated. My world started falling apart…and then suddenly I woke up to a world where grades are meaningless.

We all naturally want to be great. As a student, it\’s almost as if our school achievements define how great we can be. But isn\’t it more than that? The relationships we build? The change we make for the better? Not only for ourselves, but everyone else. What then is the definition of greatness?

I would just to take a moment and note that my portfolio has finally made it to the top rankings in Google when searching for my full name. Don\’t you…think NG sometimes? I do. Yes!

This all thanks to a short-sighted attempt to google bomb the search engine with my full name, eliminating embarrassing links appearing at the very top.

Comments, suggestions, constructive criticism appreciated. Also, I was lazy and didn\’t make an individual page for each project I worked on. To be coming there, the work in the CHI 2006 Student Design Competition and the field work/user studies I did on an event service application.

I went to eat by myself at Eat \’N Park for the second time alone this week. Strangely enough, I have somewhat gotten over the fear of eating alone. Only at specific restaurants however where the cheapness of the food calls for random single diners. Interestingly enough, at least 2 other tables near me (booths) were single diners. One was in her mid-twenties, reading a book, but evidently she came to the restaurant to also chat with her friends who worked as servers. Another was a middle-aged lady who wore a napkin bib and splashed spaghetti sauce all over herself. Another lady further down the row was working on storybook sketches, finished with her main meal and drinking a cup of tea slowly. It was pleasant.

I remember going to Denny\’s with Aaron in El Cerrito back in undergrad. We would go in with our heavy books and notes. The server would take one look at us and lead us toward the back where other students were studying. We would often order a breakfast meal since it usually was around 10 or 11 pm at night. Then eat…drink…all night. The server would bring us the check and then leave us alone, occasionally checking up on our drinks. Then three hours later, we would saunter out of Denny\’s to Aaron\’s car, feeling well-studied and happy.

I tried studying tonight for my midterm tomorrow in human factors. But it wasn\’t the same. Being alone makes me a bit too self-aware sometimes. But perhaps it was more of the fact that I just didn\’t get the cognition and decision-making chapters. Wish me luck.

A few weeks ago, some people were noting how useless videos on ipods are. But hey how about drivetime, a weekly show by a guy on his way to work in Boston. Videocast?

This reminds me of Rekuytn and my attempts on an online weekly radio show (before podcast existed). Our show was about big issues in our time, namely politics and our views on the world. Pretentious of course. The biggest mistake we made was when we decided to do a show on the world of blogging. We had a guest on our show who bashed the very essence of blogs. Then somehow this encouraged me to start bashing journals/blogs that I saw unfit. I openly critiqued the blog, giving the url to the audience for reference. A lot of negativity followed me (online) for the following weeks, but hey it was my opinion.

Do weekly shows like this actually work? Would people really be interested? At the same time, we only like to read blogs of people we know. Only occasionally do people come upon a random blog and start reading. I try to do the latter, but sometimes I feel like it\’s not my place unless the blog is created for the purposes of being completely general. What then?