Playing Assassins

Sometimes I like to look at reality differently. Just for a moment. What if the exit isn’t an exit, but an entrance? What if the road isn’t just a road, but misdirection? What if the building next door is shelter?

It’s not that I want any of these things to be true—to be hunted, to be stalked, to be followed. I love games, because they alter the reality for a second so that I can be someone else. I can be empowered in a role that I never had the abilities before. I am in a different world.

In a few hours, I am embarking in a street game. Perhaps just entertainment in the hedonistic ways in the city. But for a moment, I want to break from the mundaneness of the world and see the world differently. Just for a moment.

Zombies lure me…but there’s a real reason.

People think that I love zombies. And yes, in some way, I am. I host the annual book club complete with “zombie food”. I read zombie books and material incessantly. I watch zombie movies and TV. I attend zombie events.

And yet. I am not a horror fan. I hate chaos. I hate gore and body horror (although evidently I needed to be desensitized due to my avid watching of such things.)

I am more like Max Brooks. I worry about the future and my fear is reflected in my fascination with zombies. It’s the dread of the unknown. It’s the dread that I will forget to follow simple rules: cardio, double tap…oh wait, what were the rest? I want to know how we will behave differently if the world is suddenly…very different. Will I trust the ones I love? Will they be selfish? Will I be selfish? Do my soft skills even matter?

There’s a reason why I still dabble in ARGs. For a brief moment, I can imagine how it would be like. But the most important thing is that I won’t die and become a zombie.