guess what guess what?!

Did you think that I wanted to puke at the sight of you? Did you think that you were really that self-centered?

Sure, you did.

Because.

It was a fake list.

Because Stacee started it (at least in my world) then Lele, then Mikkke, then Naim, Pei and so many others…
a list a list a list! an anon list of people. yes, each bullet is about one person. what? are you really afraid of what i think of you? or maybe the worst comment is about you?

  • You make me want to puke.
  • Despite what a lot of people say about you, you\’re one of the few people I really trust. I truly value that.
  • I kill you, but you keep coming back. What\’s up with that?!
  • It\’s not all about sex, buddy.
  • Sometimes I think you try too hard.
  • I never knew that I could be friends with someone who lived so far away. And even then too, despite we living almost polar sides of the planet, we have so much in common. We relate like nobody has before with me. One day, I shall take the trip that we\’ve always been speaking of…
  • I thought you were introspective. Turns out that is only what you use as your appealing factor. Please. Was I so blind? Stop being so superficial.
  • Your naivete or maybe I see it as ignorance really bothers me.
  • You used to be my friend. Once upon a time, I valued your input. Then something changed, didn\’t it?
  • Sorry, you were too dumb.
  • Egotistical.
  • YOU.
  • After so long, why haven\’t you changed? It seems as if you\’re still the immature person you were 2 years ago.
  • I have never had a bad thought about you. I am still wondering why I haven\’t.
  • There are some people that I stutter with and some people that I can speak fluidly. You\’re one of the latter. And not only that, you make me feel that I can be someone.
  • Sometimes you were there for me and sometimes you had to go. Usually you had to go.
  • You taught me that there was a life outside of the life that i had been living. Sometimes I hate it. Sometimes I am glad that you introduced me to it.
  • Run.
  • Apparently, I also have a pulled hamstring or something. And my right ankle that forces me to limp. I think I may have to take an elevator tomorrow for my internship (we\’re learning actionscript in Macromedia Flash Mx!).

    Magically, my car door was fixed. My mom went to three auto shops and got a rough estimate. From $1000 to $1238. Then my mom asked them just to make the door open. $200. Thank god. Sigh.

    So my dad has bestowed on me the title of \”irresponsible\”.

    I was standing obliviously on the passenger side of my car with Xing…discussing how to move my stuff from my apartment. Then a car was backing up and Xing exclaimed that the guy hit my car. Slow reaction? YES. I sort of trotted to the driver\’s side of the car and looked to see if there was any damage. Didn\’t see any. I looked at the car driving away…and glanced at the license plate for a second. Then I went to my apartment to move my stuff.

    THEN I returned. I opened the door on the driver\’s side. It only opened a crack. I tugged on it and it refused to budge. TO MY HORROR, Xing pointed out a round dent near the door hinge. GRRRRR..

    Then I went home and my dad gave me a lecture on responsibility. How if I paid for the car and insurance, I would have ran after the guy like a maniac. And I guess that\’s true because I would wring the neck of the first person that drops my digicam. BUT MY CAR. sobby.

    In other news, I twisted my right ankle (again). I tripped three times near the back of my car.

    Yes, hi I moved my site AGAIN. Sniff, I promise I won\’t move it again! And I am not done with the layout either. Hopefully I will finish later today!

    I have driven more than 2 hours every day this week to go to my internship and back. Being stuck in traffic. Other cars tailgating me. One car turning on their highlights because I was going too slow (80 mph) in the fast lane. Having nothing to listen to on the radio because stations in NorCal are full of commercials and dumb talk shows…and I can\’t find the car kit for my cd player.

    Driving. Bleh. :p

    Edit: I have noticed how hard I grip the wheel nowadays. Red marks on the palms of my hands. :p It all started when I used to drive with one hand…and that one hand on the bottom of the wheel. Passengers *ahem* complained about my driving, because I tended to swerve and have pseudo death accidents. GRIP GRIP.

    I see you never.

    Sometimes people leave without realizing that they will never see you again. And sometimes you leave someone without realizing that you\’ll never talk or hear them again. Sometimes.

    That has been bothering me the last few weeks. During the commencement ceremonies, I realized that the majority of the people I had met this semester…I would never see them again. The acquaintances I had met…we would not come into contact again. And that hit me as at David\’s grad party. David. You have to reach a certain level of friendship where you feel comfortable going out of the way for someone. You wouldn\’t drive to someone\’s place who lived out of your way. Nor would you ask someone to travel to your place if you only talked to them once. It\’s just uncomfortable. Which brings me back to…I see you never.

    In high school, I knew that I would not see the majority of the people again. I didn\’t care anyway. And despite all the \”I hope to see you around!\” lines in the yearbook…I didn\’t see a single person.

    And so David. I will never see you again. And there are some people I have been around with…that I would have to give my last goodbye.

    Don’t ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody.

    I have discovered that going to sleep early isn\’t working. Thus, I am tired when I am driving back from Santa Clara. A NOT SO GOOD THING.

    After the internship had ended for the day, I headed to Valley Fair. And because of this I decided to go to J. Crew to see if my second ex was there. I got lost thrice trying to find the store. It would have been one year and two days exactly since we last talked. The last time we talked he called me immature and childish. :D Because I had told him that he was boring…um…yeah. BUT TO MY DISAPPOINTMENT, he wasn\’t there.

    Next time, I think.

    Then Amy treated me to a dinner at Cheesecake Factory. I got very fattened. :) And lots of fun discussing that OH SO GREAT TOPIC OF \”ST00PID\” BOYZ.