Today, when I got home, suddenly I had this intense feeling of needing-to-clean. I looked at our kitchen sink which was completely full of unwashed dishes. For the last week, I had done my own dishes in the dishwasher–going through two cycles. Yet, I didn\’t want to deal with dried food on dishes…that were not mine. But the sight of them today drove me insane. I dumped all the dishes into the dishwasher. Then I went on a run to try to get rid of my OCD-ness.

I came back, tired, which was good. But I couldn\’t sit still in front of the TV. So I got up, prepared my food for the week. Then suddenly, I had to clean the counter. Then I had to organize the dining table. I made of a pile for my each of my housemates. And a misc pile. Then I cleaned the microwave. Then I cleaned the counter again.

Fortunately, before I started cleaning the floor, I was able to lead myself upstairs. This sort of reminds me of Bradbury\’s \”The Fruit on the Bottom of the Bowl\”.

EDIT: It\’s ironic that I go nuts like this sometimes considering my room is very messy. I start thinking what I would do with a toothbrush and a bucket of water. It\’s funny that I am this way now when…I used to throw tantrums when my mom always made me put stuff back to \”where they belong\”. At one point, I became stubborn and said that I belonged nowhere except the floor. So I refused to sleep in my bed (because then I would have to return it to back how it was before). But tantrums like those break easily because sometimes you can\’t last that long without getting hungry. I remember giving up after several hours and going downstairs to eat. And my parents didn\’t say a single thing. They knew I wouldn\’t last.

The incoming masters students are coming for open house in less than 2 weeks…I wonder if there\’s a blogger among them. Too bad I\’ll be in California on that day…

My face often gives a you-are-doing-something-wrong expression unintentionally. I think that\’s why guys kept bothering me yesterday night.

Once upon time, there were two students that called Jenn at 12:30 am. Both of them wanted Jenn to come to the Cage, a bar only 2 blocks away from her house, to celebrate St. Patrick\’s Day. The phone was passed between both of them, trying to convince her to go. But poor little Jenn had already spilled a drink on herself 3 hours earlier and as a result took a shower. One of the students said, \”Come out and celebrate with your friends! It\’s only once in a year!\” But she was too tired. So little Jenn said NO and went to sleep.

I am only posting this because I am wearing my \”I\’m blogging this\” t-shirt.

It was PI day earlier this week and today is St\’s Patrick\’s day. Both times, I didn\’t realize it until I noticed this odd activity on campus. For the former, some nerdy students set up a pie room on the fifth floor of Wean. Then today, I obviously saw a lot of green and someone handed me a white frosted cupcake with an…Italy flag.

Today one of my group members said aloud as she was leaning over to pick up a pen, \”Whoa, I am so fat.\”

I was surprised and gave her a look. She explained, \”I can\’t even reach for it.\”

At times, I hate this self-conscious culture. Do we have to worry all the time? I attended the \”closing ceremony\” of the 6-week fitness challenge that I almost finished (I couldn\’t finish because I was sick one of the 6 weeks and couldn\’t catch up after that) and they served healthy food–soups, bagels, sliced fruit, and vegetables. Of course, they also included water as a beverage. And I could sense people\’s analytical eye as they surveyed the types of food. Too oily. Too fatty. I don\’t want to be someone who looks in the mirror and scruntizes everything. What happened to pure enjoyment of food? What happened to the accepting who you are…and trying to be a better person every day?

And yet, it\’s more about keeping everything in moderation. I am not going to let go of my chicken.

I didn\’t finish my last post. Nowadays, I think I must have ADD, because I start something, but I just don\’t like finishing it (unless prodded by an imminent deadline–the consequences of which equals low grade).

Courtesy of the beloved craigslist in the bay area and Kyle, \”no sex tonight!\”

On the topic of girls vs. guys, I have always been a faithful reader of girls-suck, a log of five anonymous guys dealing with thier niceguysfinishlast phenomenon. And even if it\’s so wistful, so hopeless (sometimes), there are always moments in our lives where we are frozen by fear. A hopeless romance. An unequal relationship. And the other day, I was remembered of the essay one of the guys submitted. This just struck me, because how often do people nowadays express themselves freely? How many people are reluctant to share their feelings? And all our reluctance stems from fear.

What is normal? What is abnormal?

What is weird?

I always have this desire to BE unique.

If you meet someone who is quiet, you don\’t think of much of it. You think she\’s shy, she just doesn\’t have much to say. If you meet someone who says a lot, you automatically make judgments. You think she\’s outgoing, obnoxious, annoying, or too friendly.

But if you don\’t take the risk to say something, you won\’t get anywhere at all. I used to stay quiet, and take the safe route of saying nothing at all. And nowadays, I take that risk, because I don\’t want to be the shy one. Yet, I feel like I am saying the wrong thing. I don\’t want to be annoying or irritating. And I don\’t mean to be. Maybe it\’s just another case of Mondays.

Despite the fact that I have conducted numerous tape-recorded interviews and video-taped contextual inquiries, I still get this weird feeling when I hear myself speak. For some reason, it\’s still embarassing to hear my voice. I am glad that when we videotape, we videotape the user rather than the interviewer. Otherwise I\’ll get caught up on how I look because I have never seen that side of me before.

On an unrelated note to myself, don\’t settle for second best. Always keep striving for the best, because you deserve it.

A few things I learned in NYC: