\”May I have your attention please. There has been a fire emergency in the building. Please go to the nearest exit. Do not use the elevator.\”

I have been hearing that over and over again also accompanied by a siren. Because it\’s mid-semester break (for undergraduates), Wean Hall (primarily the School of Computer Science) has decided to test their fire alarm. Unfortunately, for some reason or another, the alarm has been going on and on for at least 3 hours. Being me and my recent headache storm, I basically crippled under it in pain. Ok, maybe not, but it was slightly painful.

The strange thing about alarms are that because false alarms occur so often, people don\’t pay attention when it is an actual valid alarm. In all my 23 years, I have yet to experience a true alarm. All the fire alarms I have experienced have resulted from accidental cooking, someone microwaving cheese too long, or some idiot smoking in their room. By having such a large number of false alarms, alarm loses its effectiveness.

The other day, in human factors, we were discussing the appropriate design for a smoke alarm. What is the right way to design it so that people will actually change the battery? What is the right way to design is so that people will know about a low battery? What is the right way to design it so that people can test it and understand when the alarm actually goes off? Where should it be placed so that people can actually reach it?

Lately, I have been having headaches without unknown causes. Could it be a lack of healthy food especially because of the 6 lb burger? Could it be because of my constant listening to music? Could it because of the undue stress I have had worrying about my future? Could it be because I felt emotionally drained yesterday because my friend was once again lamenting his inexperience?

One worry. Should I spend $5000 to take Game Design next semester? It is taught by the world-famous Jesse Schell, originally an imagineer in Disney, leading several sucessful projects there. I have heard about how great this class was, but this was from people who are natural-born gamers. I, on the other hand, despite receiving my first game console at 8, I never got into gaming. I am what people call a sore loser. I can start playing a game, but once it seems that I am losing, my interest declines rapidly. Video games can garner my interest for 24 hours at most. During my undergrad at Berkeley, I spent a lot of time learning the stories of games. Final Fantasy and the like, but I would refuse to take part. I enjoyed watching my (male) friends play. So then, why should I take game design? It is not meant to teach people how to build games, but rather a correct for method for conceiving a game. Yet, I am interested in the process and why games capture so much attention.

Like most artists, I have a desire to create something to let people escape reality even for just a moment. To leave troubles behind or to share an experience with another. Games like my other addiction of writing can do that. But I am not even close to what people describe as a girl gamer, could the class game design really be for me?

Almost a month ago, my roommate Jen and I headed down to the Southside Works to see a free screening of In Her Shoes. What had attracted me to the movie in the first place was not because it was a chick flick (personally, I abhor the run-of-the-mill chick flicks), but it was a movie about sisters.

Unlike many siblings I know, my sister and I have a relationship that more closer than others. We\’re only 14 months apart, pseudo-irish twins. When we were younger, people had trouble telling us apart. But as we grew up, I had the darker skin. She had a lighter skin. But like the movie, we almost had opposite personalities. I was submissive and quiet. She was the outgoing and loud one. I am still naturally more cautious, afraid to climb on rocks. Even now, I still walk down stairs very slowly. My sister is a risktaker. She was the atheletic one. In some ways, the more attractive and charismatic one. I was the smart and thoughtful one, but I lacked social skills.

In my most anxious moments, my sister would do things for me. She would ask the adult for something. A few years ago on a cruise ship, she was the one who gathered three other guys to be part of our \”gang\” for the following six days. And most of all, she would \”fix\” me. Do my makeup. Do my hair. Dress me (aka suggesting outfits). Things an older sister is supposed to do.

The thing that surprised me about other siblings was sibling rivalry. Even though my sister and I were different, we complemented each other in many ways. And as a result, I can\’t recall that many fights. I don\’t know whether it\’s because I was submissive that I let my sister take advantage of me. In our old journals, we did write many entries about how we hated each other. Yet, I can\’t remember any times we decided to draw lines between each other. Where we refused to share or had those typical sibling conflicts.

And then nowadays, my sister gives me her clothes that she doesn\’t want. I provide her with generous technical support. We both give out advice for our life struggles. And it\’s like that between siblings, we know our struggles the best. Back in May, when we were in Chicago for a wedding, I commented on my dad\’s relationships to his four siblings (him being the favorite son, the younger son). He said he wasn\’t close to any of his siblings even his twin brother and that he admired the relationship I had with my sister.

So in the movie, one sister says \”we\’re like a pair of shoes. One cannot exist without the other.\” Sort of like my sister and me. We have the same size feet after all too.

Things I learned this weekend:

  • beer pong is a game consisting of 9 cups on each of the side table half-filled with beer where opposing players try to \”knock\” out a cup by throwing a ping pong ball into the cup; the opposing team must drink the cup of beer that is \”knocked out\”
  • stay away from the guy waving a permanent marker
  • if a police officer is called to a party where he sees two people swing dancing through the front window, it\’s no cause to cite a noise violation because that\’s truly young people having fun
  • I can still withstand any huge level of peer pressure to drink. woohoo!
  • Having someone sit across four people with me under the most weight…is actually quite suffocating
  • I am the only one I know who believed staying a little bit means about 1.5 hour
  • other people aren\’t as good at keeping track of time at a party
  • the pick-up line do you yahooo? does not work (on me)
  • GPS systems for cars are quite accurate
  • route 28 from Pittsburgh to North PA is actually quite a nice drive if you\’re with good company (and good music)
  • Ben actually played bass in a band and no the name of the band was not My Band
  • you can really finish a SAUI (programming) project on the way to Clearfield from Pittsburgh
  • there are still some gas stations out there that don\’t use a credit card machine at each pump
  • some burgers in real life are really larger than they look in pictures
  • sadly, I don\’t think I can ever finish a 2 lb burger
  • the pub challenge does not allow one to use silverware, anybody\’s help, but you can obviously use your drinks to help you
  • the bun and the patty are quite good
  • the 6 lb burger takes 1.5 hour to cook and the 15 lb burger takes 3 hours to cook. might be a good idea to call ahead of time to order.
  • the pub is generally full of large men who think they can finish large plates of food
  • only 2 (small) women have ever finished the 6 lb burger
  • a large family of 11 people cannot even finish the 15 lb burger. they had a quarter left when they were about done.
  • so what if you don\’t win, a t-shirt only costs $15. no clothing tax in PA!
  • people from over 9 countries have come to attempt the burger
  • the servers don\’t keep track of whether any of the contestants have gone to the bathroom to purge during the 3 hour time limit for the 6 lb burger
  • Punxsutawney, home of Groundhog Phil made famous in the movie Groundhog Day, is only two hours away from Pittsburgh
  • a medium size soft serve cone is actually quite large by my standards
  • Dave loves John Deere, especially its toys
  • Carol will always drive faster than Ben, by any means
  • attempting the 6 lb burger means that I won\’t feel hungry for at least 2 days
  • If you arrive at the theater 10 minutes pass the showing time, the movie will not have started yet
  • Cameron Crowe\’s new movie Elizabethtown was actually quite a disappointment
  • A movie full of sideways glances, one-liners, great music, great imagery does not equal a great movie
  • Trailers are deceiving
  • leftover burgers still make great meatballs in pasta
  • it takes at least two boxes of Jiffy cornbread to make a loaf and 6 muffins
  • there are some people who are naturally indecisive and deciding something for them is easier than persuading them to make a decision
  • the view of Pittsburgh is always beautiful from Mt. Washington at night
  • don\’t attempt to bring a \”picnic dinner\” to Mt. Washington and expect to eat it outside in mid-October. it\’s too windy and too cold.
  • the way I pronounce certain words will amuse people no matter what
  • even as much as I don\’t want to watch tv, I will always find myself downstairs with my roommate watching Desperate Housewives and Grey\’s Anatomy every Sunday night
  • Parker House and Theory will come to play at CMU!
  • There was a silly adventure I went through a few months ago where I wrote in a friend\’s blog. I deliberately posted my most thoughtful, introspective entries. Most of which, I had written in the last 4 years. I posted entries of love, heartbreak, familial ties, daily problems. I did this every day for one month. I must have mentioned it a number of times, but it surprised me the most when readers did respond. In truth, I was playing with them, pretending to be my friend. We garnered over 300 readers at that time.

    But one discovery that stuck with me is that I really do have the ability to change people through the written word. When I was 16 and still in my pen pal phase, people who received my letters often said that they were lyrical, almost like a song. I thought that was silly. But inside, my pride grew. I had always wanted to write for a living, but couldn\’t think of a way to pursue it. And so here I am, still writing into an emptiness, trapped by a desire to do great in the world but yet live comfortably.

    I did quit writing in my friend\’s blog because being introspective and thoughtful took a lot of energy from me. Eventually, I did return more than 2 months later to rant, because my outlets of expression are limited by my knowledge of readership.

    But to my surprise, someone left the following comment:

    She had randomly left a comment on my friend\’s blog a few months back and upon exploring her blog, I found her very deep and fascinating. However, she (who we now know was Jenn) is no longer the author of this blog and I am not a big fan of the new one. I\’ve continued to read her entries for about a month now, but the interest is just gone. I want Jenn back…even tho I don\’t actually know her. So I left a comment (probably not considered nice, but please don\’t take it the wrong way, just trying to be honest) and unsubscribed. Just wanted to write it here, I guess, to repent for the guilt I feel for the comment. Guilt for possibly making someone feel bad, but not guilt for being honest.

    Who knew.

    After more than 7 months, I got a chance to spend quality with a 6 lb burger. Right now (despite my constant very full feeling), I can say I have never been so content, so satisfied, so happy…

    More to come…

    A few days ago, I finally received my new Sony headphones, bought specifically for the ipod.

    What puzzles me about the ipod is how uncomfortable the included earphones are. They felt like rocks in my ears and its lack of great sound quality was disappointed. But of course, the ipod was designed for its music player quality not its accessories. I had the earphones replaced once at the Apple store (free of charge, of course) because one ear stopped working.

    My new Sony headphones are fantastic. In some way, they act like earplugs blocking sound. I went jogging yesterday and heard every single breath I took. And when I ate lunch today, I could hear all my swallows. But it\’s oh so comfortable and there\’s this nifty plastic case to wrap the headphones. And best of all, Sony designed it in such a way so that my hands don\’t get caught as easily when moving my arm back to a resting position.

    I like riding the bus with headphones on. As if I am saying don\’t bother me or i know what i\’m doing. It\’s a certain level of power. It\’s a method of distraction. It\’s a way of escape.

    Talking to people on aim is such a different social situation. There are people you talk to for the purposes of exchanging information–your classmate where you ask directed questions such as \”what did the prof say today in lecture?\” and you \”fade\” away after a minute of talking. Then there are the friends you talk to on a regular basis–they understand your online habits as you might have an 8 hour conversation with long pauses in between, the disappearances, the bursts of true conversation. Then there are the immature ones that command your attention–you have to listen to them or they get insulted, you have to show that you\’re listening and understanding, and to disappear is a very bad faux pas, then you have to deal with them with constant away msgs.

    I have the limit of people on my aim list (200). Yet, I barely talk to the majority of them. I get this sense of comfort when I sign online. I don\’t need to im everyone. It\’s the fact that I know that someone is available to talk to is a comforting thought itself. Seeing people\’s presence almost like in an ambient display is just like that. Even with \”silence\”–nobody iming you–is pleasing to me.

    A few years ago, I had this ideal version of me in my mid-twenties. A happy, diligent person doing wonderful things. Most of all, I would be waking up early. A breakfast. Tea and crumpets with a morning newspaper folded on the table.

    Fantasies only. I still have a bad habit of waking up late. I still have a bad habit of staying up late.

    So this morning, Carol called me at 9:30 with a cheery voice asking me if I wanted to go to breakfast. I mumbled something incomprehensible. Then she asked me if I was sleeping. I said yes…and that I would want to go in one hour. She gave a disappointed ok. I felt slightly guilty as I shut my phone, but forgot it all as I slept, thinking that I would have to make breakfast for myself.

    I dreamt of monsters and school nightmares for the next hour until suddenly my cellphone rang (with the 24 ringtone, of course). Carol! \”You said one hour!\” In happy anticipation, I rolled out of bed and attempted to find something to wear. I decided to wear my long skirt which had been sitting on pile of clothes at the foot of my bed. I rummaged through my drawer realizing that Ray still had yet to take his clothes out of the dryer and my wet clothes were still sitting in the washer. I made a mental note to myself to ask him about it later.

    Suddenly, Carol called me again. Downstairs?! I ran downstairs still in my yellow large t-shirt and let her in. Finally in 10 minutes, I was ready to go despite having this horrible sleepy feeling in my eyes.

    We went to the Bagel Factory on Murray. To my surprise, it was quite good. We ordered potato latkes and challah french toast. Somehow Carol knew exactly my taste. The potato latkes were a bit greasy. I prefer the potato pancakes at Eat \’N Park, lightly smothered with sour cream and applesauce. The challah french toast was moist, but well cooked. We stuffed ourselves, but unhappily the food ended too soon. Carol started playing with our condiments, spreading the sour cream and syrup all over the plate. I swallowed the last droplet of applesauce. Then she dropped me off at home where I rolled back to bed. Happy.