Did you steal my serendipity?

Last Sunday, after jogging around Lake Elizabeth (yes, there’s more than geese poop), I suddenly declared that I was hungry and wanted food. Now.

Chris suggested that we go back and check on yelp/citysearch. At first, I was swayed to go back and sacrifice about an hour to find the right restaurant. But then I realized by intricately planning and detailing…the great feeling of serendipity was gone.

Web 2.0 has taken our feeling of surprise away. Although it has allowed us to find the best fare for a ticket and keep in contact with people. It also has streamlined pleasant surprises to intricately planned schedules. Is it by design though? That people have addressed the direct challenges of finding something to do and communication? But they haven’t addressed the other needs of that interaction?

For instance, I do like walking in a grocery store and touching things. I like the way the apples and oranges feel. The way I can tell by touch whether it’s the perfect kind for me. I like my mangoes almost hard and not soft. My bananas must be yellow and slightly green at purchase. No website can be that accurate and capture the pleasure.

I suppose that’s the same with social networks. Friends are no longer friends–the people you can trust. They are acquaintances–people you met once at a party and was enamored for one moment, but you added them as a friend so you could look at their photos. They are your project mates–the one you hated working with but you want to keep in touch with for job networking. Then you might be surprised to find that your advisor wants to add you as a friend. I guess my friend essay is slightly out of date now.

It’s a drop of artificiality. But perhaps there could be a movement toward…serendipity 2.0.

Musik++

My latest greatest music discovery: Sufjan Stevens

The song titles are incredibly long and there’s more than the usual 20 tracks in an album. But an artist who plans to write an album for each of the 50 states has got me in favor.

Two weeks plus in retrospective

In two weeks, so many things can happen. For better or for worse. Unexpected and predictable. Then there are the moments you won’t forget. The news you didn’t expect to hear. The stares. The return to what once was. The snow slowly falling. The rain pouring. A cold that won’t go away. The small things that come in a box. The people who you found to be always there for you. The familiar faces you never thought would return. And then the wonder of new things, new events, new faces. And the grandness of the future.

Things I learned in the past 2 weeks:

  • Groundhog day is really an excuse for a huge party. And an excuse for college students to create a mosh pit and crowd surf. On February 2nd, the appearance of the Groundhog Phil at Punxsutawney. He says, “Spring shall come early!”

    Phil, what did you say?

  • All great things must come to end.
  • But when you open your heart, amazing things happen. Be ready for the pleasant surprises.

    Closed hearts

    Open hearts

  • Despite the many food challenges, I can really eat a lot!

    Look it's me!

  • And there always new people to meet at every corner

  • But there are some friends I’ll never forget

    Former roommates - Jen and Jenn

  • The symphony at Heinz Hall is amazing especially a piece designed for a solo trumpet

    Looking up into Heinz Hall

  • Watching a large ship sail into the Bay is so much better than watching the Super Bowl

    Oh it does fit!

  • Don’t participate in the pillow fight if you have full makeup on (and want to keep it on). But if you do, it’s a definite great work out. Make sure you wear something that you don’t mind getting full of feathers. You might also want to wear something so that you don’t breathe in feathers.

    I am on the right in my dress

  • Legally Blonde (the musical) is really that good. Like oh my god?!
  • When you see an unguarded balloon, take it asap. It might not be there later.
  • There’s street cleaning on my side of the street on Thursdays. On the other side of the street, it’s every day except Thursdays.
  • There are patrolling cops on weekend nights that will give parking tickets. So yes you can get a parking ticket for parking in the middle of the street in the Mission
  • Moodjam!
  • Silver linings are in every gray cloud.
  • You were once on the other side of the fence, but now we’re on the same side

    “Are you Jennifer?” she said, not having seen me in more than 7 months. She sized me up and down, standing outside the noisy Disney store. “Did you lose weight?”

    I laughed and said no, thinking how the last half year has influenced and changed me. When I first met her, I was wearing my formal pants and that shirt I thought was business-like. And shoes that made me walk funny. Today, I was wearing the Papaya top over a dark tank top underneath my leather jacket with that forest green cropped pants. Topped with my black flats that still made me walk funny because they were new.

    Quickly labeled

    This morning, I walked into a doctor’s office with Chris. The receptionist greeted Chris by name. She then saw me and asked him, “Is this your wife?”

    We shook our heads and smiled.

    It’s strange how society quickly tries to pair up people at that intimate level. Especially those of the opposite gender. It’s as seeing long-lasting relationships is proof that there is hope. Something that gives them comfort.

    It reminds me of the time when I spontaneously decided I wanted to buy a dress. While I was in the dressing room trying the 10+ dresses the saleswoman piled into my arms, she asked directly in a whisper meant to be heard, “Are you two dating?”

    Sam laughed and said, “Nooooo…”

    But I was in Fremont with Chris. I wasn’t holding his hand or doing anything couple-like, except going to the doctor’s office at an insanely early appointment. It is a suburb. A land I recalled yesterday when I met Chris’ typical volleyball people–where married people and families live. I met a woman who quit her high-paying engineer job to do a part-time jewelry job (like an Avon lady) to be at home with her two kids. Where people owned condos and had cars. Where the greatest adventure on the weekend was a trip to Home Depot, perhaps Target and Walmart. Or even Ikea.

    And yet among my circle, I nearly know nobody who is married. A few who are close. But most are severely independent and unattached.

    Close friends vs. good friends

    Yesterday night, a good friend told me he thought I was a close friend. One of the few. But I couldn’t say the same about him.

    But that brings up that question. What is a close friend? Sure, I wrote a paper about the meaning of friend. But is there a definition that is the same for everyone?

    Trust? Contact frequency? The mutual understanding? The natural desire to be there for the friend? The willingness to go out of your way? Where does it reach obsession? Or simply superficiality and shallowness? Or when is it an aquaintance? Where is the sincerity.

    Communication is everything to me.