Durng my senior year in high school, all the honors kids got to take a trip to the closest university which was UC Berkeley. We got to visit the campus and just basically hang out around Telegraph Avenue. I went with my (former) best friend up and down the street. I feel the independence of college and all the wildness. We decided to eat at a Mexican restaurant there for lunch. Buying that lunch itself was so exciting…that I could choose what I wanted to eat. The freedom to choose what I wanted.

Now 4 years later, the same independence appeals to me. (I never returned to the Mexican restaurant…last year it was changed to Naan \’N Curry.) Along with the independence, comes responsibility. I hate taking care of bills–these financial obligations. I have the responsibility to keep my grades afloat–it\’s not just for myself anymore, it\’s my future, the expectations of people around me. I feel too much sympathy for people sometimes. I see a resident with a computer problem and I can\’t say no. I answer to myself only (well…usually) but along with that, there comes a price.

I used to say that DIET is DIE with a T. But did you ever know that studying was DYING with a STU?

I have one more ridiculous final on Thursday for IEOR 170 with Professor Goldberg. When I first heard of the class last summer (from a fellow intern), I was immediately intrigued. The course title Industrial Design and Human Factors seemed to directly relate with my intended graduate course of study. So I enrolled in it for this spring semester, also encouraging my coworker Vanessa to do it too.

To my disappointment, it wasn\’t all that it was. I thought it would be a class about design. We would design something viable, but instead our class project was to design a class for incoming freshmen IEOR majors. What\’s worse was that Professor Goldberg had the tendency to criticize everything. As a result, we would constantly have to redo the entire project for the next deadline. But nonetheless. This will be my last final in Berkeley. Thursday 12:30 pm. What a way to end my career at Cal.

My first two finals were…well…I suppose I wasn\’t as prepared as I hope I could be. My philosophy final this morning was quite sad. I entered the final with an A and I am lucky if I finished off with a B+. But we\’ll see. It\’s the fact that I had a conversation with someone I used to know on Sunday night–right outside in the cold night–that threw me off. I like to have things arranged and planned. A single disruption almost interrupts my way of doing things. I don\’t realize it until later…but it\’s often the lack of sleep that drives me almost insane.

Check this out: the P-P-P-Powerbook AP-P-P-P-LE store!!!

It\’s magical how most things can entertain us on the Internet than the TV. Maybe because this is raw, uncensored humor!

In other news, why do I hear Mexican music coming from upstairs? I thought all my neighbors did was have sex and wake me up on nights I need to sleep.

A to Z list of the week (because I have a philosophy final at 8 am and I am trying to find ways to stall studying!)

A is for a boy from michigan who is two years younger than me and got into the college of engineering and has a good knack for pissing me off every week (i say good job good job)
B is for the B that I am most likely going to get in every class this semester
C is for Carise, the only other girl RCC this year, but alas I am graduating…too bad we never really got a chance to hang out together
D is for Daweeeeen, my sissy who is flying up this weekend just to see me graduate!
E is for eating, which I have done too much this past week
F is for finals, which should be easy this semester but senioritis is bitting me in the back
G is for graduation approaching very soon!
H is for help – it\’s easier to ask \”
I is for I see you never! – there will be many people I have seen all my four years here and I will NEVER see them again. Is that sad? No, not really.
J is for Jason. Higgins (who never got back to me about studying yesterday). Chen (who slyly was able to converse me last night for an hour in the cold night – some sort of reconcilation). Hong (graduate student I am working on research with…he disappears a lot but he got me a thinkgeek t-shirt so he\’s really cool).
K is for Krispy Kreme donuts – I ate two boxes of glazed donuts in four days.
L is for Lele who SHOULD visit me in california this summer
M is for moving out, which is turning into a bigger headache than it should really be
N is for not much, when asked how much I have studied for tomorrow\’s 8 am philosophy final
O is for office numpty which I got with my full name at jobpredictor.com
P is for p-p-p-powerbook, proof that there are people as stalkerish and sadistiic as me
Q is for quiet, something I never get in the mornings – I can\’t wait to sleep a straight 8 hours at home instead of the 8 hours interrupted by construction sounds, etc.
R is for rescomp which I have been part of unofficially for 3 years – I am still working for them during the summer, so I won\’t miss them that much yet.
S is for SBC who is ripping me off at this very moment (it is also for Sean who skipped last week\’s meeting for an interview in Socal – tsk tsk!)
T is for Tarski and truth – things I don\’t know much about
U is for underestimating my potential
V is for Vikas no wait…Vanessa who has accompanied me to IEOR 170 and is actually nice!
W is for WinDOZE
X is for adiumX – the best instant messaging client for the mac
Y is for Yahoo, who never got back to me about an internship
Z is for zombie which I will be when I wake up tomorrow!

For the last week, random aquaintances have asked me to study with them for finals. They say, \”Let\’s study Sunday.\” or \”Want to study together for philosophy?\”

I say fine. Okay. Sure! And what bothers me is that they don\’t get back to me. And I end up bugging them, contacting them. Hey do you remember that thing you asked me about last week? Are you still interested or did you forget completely?

It\’s a shame that this is how Berkeley people are. Some people don\’t follow through with their words.

A huge bug flew into the apartment from the small opening from my partially open balcony door (how did that happen? I remember closing and locking it a few days ago). I saw it as it danced along the walls. Huge long legs. A huge mosquito. But then somehow it disappeared from my sight and I didn\’t think much about it as I idled around for the next few hours (when I could have been studying for finals).

Then it came back again into view right before I went to sleep. Normally, girls would scream. But I am not that type. Instead, I grabbed a plastic bag from the kitchen and put the bag over it. I opened the balcony door and dropped the bag outside. I heard the bug skittering inside, screaming.

Two years ago, there was a spider in the apartment and my roommates asked me to take care of it. So I did the same thing, \”coaxed\” the spider to go inside a plastic bag. Then I promptly dumped it outside. I remember one of my roommates shrilly asking, \”Why did you let it live?!\”

I just hope that doesn\’t happen next year.

I want to play in a real pacman game!

That\’s an interesting prospect of using ubiquitous computing. Yet, I wonder how they actually coordinate it all. How do the ghosts know when the pacman is actually \”invicible\”? Do the ghosts slow down when the pacman gets that power pellet? How does Pacman know which streets he hasn\’t covered?

The whole game reminds me of Tele-twister where people get to play twister remotely. It certainly doesn\’t contribute much to technology beyond entertainment. But it amuses us nonetheless.

~

I realized I paid $8.50 plus tax for a box of 10 thank you cards that I could have made on my own. All the cards really are embossed silver \”Thank you\” on the front of card stock white paper. This reminds me of the $30 plus that I paid for 25 Berkeley graduation annoucements that I could have done on my own for less than $10. I had to even fold the annoucements into cards. And put them in the envelopes myself. What a ripoff.

Taking an idea from Lele and also her teaching of the b2-cut. A smattering of webcam over the last 4 years of college. I got my Quickcam with my desktop Compaq Presario (I think it was one of the major deciding factors in getting that computer). Yet, I couldn\’t figure out how to focus or sharpen during my freshman year and magically found out during my sophomore year.

Of course, I rarely use my webcam nowadays because I have my digital camera which takes better shots than the grainy ones I get with the Quickcam. But I have also reverted back to the belief that people judge blogs based on how the author looks like rather than the content. HUH HUH AIN\’T IT TRUE!

And so I present the last four years in webcammage:

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Did I mention how much I disliked \”ending\” statements in an instant message?

Statements such as:
i see
ok
yeah
k

Statements that obviously don\’t deserve a response. It makes me want to respond, ok, i hate you too!

Of course, I do the same sometimes when I can\’t think of anything else to say. My own versions come out as that\’s good or how interesting.

But the fact is, being the person I am, I tend to look for an underlying meaning. Does she not want to talk to me anymore? Is she busy and am I taking up her time? Is it meant to be a short conversation? Is he just not interested in talking to me?

Obviously, there are times when I mean the conversation to end. However, it bothers me when people do it when I don\’t know their intention. Back to my desire to read people\’s minds. Back in the day when IM was new, I was heavily insulted when people would disappear without saying bye. Nowadays, it\’s the norm to just im some small idea and then that\’s it.

Many couples I know had their relationship cultivated through AIM. If AIM never existed, they never would have gotten to a comfort level thta would have propelled them in a relationship. But what happens if we are moving into a habit of sproadic ims, what happens then? Are instant messaging conversations just based around needs and wants? Maybe it\’s me that\’s changing, but I dislike really random ims. Then again, I dislike talking to certain people. I mean a certain someone (HI CERTAIN SOMEONE!) But what of our culture? What will kind of IM culture will be like in 10 years?

I somehow convinced myself that the convocation was a once in a lifetime kind of thing. That never again would I have a chance to attend a convocation for class of 2004. So I went with a friend from work and her roommates. My other friends who were graduating were busy with their own thing.

The ceremony was long. Since it was the Greek Theatre, we sat outside under the burning sun. I used the program to fan my face and shield my eyes. My sunglasses just weren\’t enough, I could feel my black hair heat up my entire face. Some of the speakers were very cliched. Most people ended their speeches with the typical \”GO BEARS\”!

The sad part was when Chancellor Berdahl was speaking. During the speech, some people started chanting \”Shame on you!\” I didn\’t really understand what they were protesting about. Their signs said something along the lines of \”Shame on Berdahl. Justice for Chapelle.\” I didn\’t get it. Random people told the protestors to shut up…show respect for the speaker. Apparently, Berdhal was slightly surprised because he stuttered the rest of his speech. Several officers approached the protestors and later they were escorted out of the Greek Theatre (as shown in the picture). But what a useless protest. The entire theatre probably didn\’t appreciate such actions…thus leading to an increase of indifference toward their cause.

The keynote speaker this year was Ted Koppel, that anchorman of ABC\’s \”Nightline\”. Compared with 2002\’s Johnny Moseley, it was so much better. But can I say that I was disappointed? Koppel\’s speech was mainly about how we should honor our parents who got us to college and how tough the real world is. He focused on how C+ students (he was supposedly a C+ undergrad at Stanford) will always be the presidents or vice presidents. Not to mention, he emphasized how the world isn\’t fair because non-Berkeley alumni will always be our supervisors. Then worst of all, he went onto to discuss the war in Iraq (how is that relevent?). But that\’s not the worst, he said, \”I know most of you are opposed to the war, but…i am not.\” Hello? He\’s saying this in Berkeley! His whole speech was political and warned us about what kind of world we\’re entering. No advice. Just brutal truth. At least he said (being a Stanford alumnus), \”Go bears\” albeit reluctantly.