I have always wondered. Is an insult or a sense of closure to pay off your \”ex-boyfriend\” for all the money he wasted during the relationship? Sort of like a pre-nup, but not. Something like \”here is a $300 check for the money you accidentally wasted on something that didn\’t work out.\”

EDIT: I mean, what if this is more of a test. If he respects me, he would never cash the check. If he disrespects me, he would cash the check. :D I tried this once before. I gave a former bf a $20 check for something I owed him and he never cashed it.

And finally, my grad pictures!

And the truth of it all. Even when I try my best, I always ended up with a B. I have only gotten one C in Berkeley (and that wasn\’t because of my academics–the professor accused a friend and me of cheating, thus we failed the final…otherwise I would have gotten of course…a B). Berkeley is for B. In high school, I thought a B equaled bad. But worst of all is when you hear a graduate admission official say, \”An A at Hayward State [one of the lesser schools in California] is better than a B at Berkeley.\” And no matter how hard you try, you end up with a B.

My parents finally bought a new car today with their hard negoitation tactics and ended up paying $14900 before taxes, etc. A Toyota Corolla LE. My dad had to leave the buying earlier and left the rest with my mom. We were to say no to any of the extras. But somehow the guy was able to convince my mom and me that we just had to get the alarm system. He was able to evoke my memories of my friends\’ stolen cars in Berkeley…that I said that I would pay an extra $100. My mom had wanted to just pay $100, which was supposed to turn the salesman away. And somehow he relented (possibly fake) and we found ourselves with an alarm system which we paid for $350. The problem was, later, I realized that my parents are technologically illiterate. And the random honks annoyed them. Not to mention, I didn\’t know if they could figure out how to turn the system off temporarily for the mechanics or valet.

Ugh.

The car is meant for me…after I return from Carnegie Mellon. That would be either 1-2 years from now. But then…who knows?

By the way, I have a gmail account (pimpin it up). DO YOU HAVE ONE?!

In particular…
(thanks lele and the special gmail-users only orkut community):

I have attended a total of five long graduation ceremonies. Today was the last one–my friend\’s Math department commencement. My mom was being all motherly in the morning and forced me to eat something before I went, which made me very late. But I got to Zellerbach Hall just as they were starting the handing out of the scrolls. Surprisingly, the dean not only called out the graduate\’s name but also the graduate\’s plan for the future. It was something personal, but probably something possible since math is so small.

In high school, I put \”drummer in LA\” as my intended profession. But probably now in my own desire to be the best, I would put the truth. The irony, right? Pursuing a masters degree in human computer interaction at Carnegie Mellon University One girl put, learn how to drive a stick shift.

My parents plan to buy a car soon since the 88 Acura Legend isn\’t faring that well. They\’re thinking of a Toyota Corolla. Model LE. Their plan is that when I return from Pittsburgh (if I ever return to California which is my plan…but we all know how our plans can change so suddenly on us) that…the Toyota will be my car. Who knows. And yet a few years ago, I was trapped in the paradox of i can\’t get a job without a car. I can\’t get a car without a job. What if the economy is still the same in 2 years?

\”How does it feel to be graduated? How does it feel to be 22?\”

For the paxt few days, I couldn\’t really answer appropriately, because I was busy with so many other things. Trying to organize people in the right place. Cleaning and moving out of my apartment. Waving my sister goodbye (she flew up to the Bay Area just for this weekend for me!)

And now the excitement has gone. Perhaps it is replaced by a feeling of nostalgia. Yesterday at the engineering commencement, I was reminded of how many people I neglected not to get to know. As I saw my friend Karen bound from friend to friend (I basically played photographer the entire time), I realized how little people I really knew in my major. The day of my commencement, I went directly to the reception. I didn\’t see anybody I really knew…and left shortly afterwards with my family and a few non-cogsci friends to a restaurant. Where were my pictures of large groups of people in graduating gowns? Where?

My 22nd birthday was spent attending the engineering commencement starting at 8:30 am. Somehow I had caught a cold and during the entire ceremony, my head was swimming (not to mention that I had only 5 hours of sleep). I watched the grad student I researched with (he\’s also going to be a professor at cmu!) during the year get hooded by his advisor. The ceremony was sooo long. It didn\’t really end until 1 pm. Congratulations to Jason, Anderson, Karen, Seth, Thomas I, Thomas II, Jimmy, Kun, James, Chris…!

Then I ate at my favorite restuarant, chow for my birthday. Then I tried to go to a dessert place, but apparently the East Bay has nothing like Extraordinary Desserts like that of San Diego. Instead, we got gelato from Downtown Berkeley with my sister and Kathy. MMMm!

Closing note: it has been 4 years since I arrognantly stepped on the Berkeley campus. Despite being a fall extension freshman, I knew there was a huge change for me. Everything that I was stuck with in high school would be redone with college. I would have good friends–people who would do the weird things I liked to do. I would get over my social anxiety. I would have a graduation with people who really was there for me. I would have my first serious relationship. I would have a part-time job. I achieved almost all, lost some and gained some. I don\’t think I would be the same person now if I had gone somewhere else. If UCLA had accepted me, I don\’t think I would have fit there. If I went to Davis, I wouldn\’t be as proud of myself as I am now.

And for now, I am going to Carnegie Mellon starting this fall! :D

MY 22ND BIRTHDAY BEGINS NOW! I am turning 22 on the 22nd of May! :D Once in a lifetime event!

(see wishlist – it\’s better late than never!)

And like any other year (although I didn\’t make a big deal as last years…or at least I didn\’t plan anything–seems like the 22nd is the move-out day for a lot of people as well as commencements), I list the presents:

The morning of my commencement was so hectic. I told everyone to arrive at my apartment at 8:00 am (since the ceremony started at 9 am). To my horror, I discovered that my cousin was still online (and not idle) at 7:50 am. I imed him anyway, thinking that his instant messaging program was probably messed up and didn\’t show idle time. But he was still there! My parents, my grandmother and my sister arrived promptly at 7:59 am. Then my friend April arrived 2 minutes later. Nobody else had arrived! Up until 9:30 am, it was spent telling people how to get to Berkeley and find parking. And also find the Greek Theatre. Unfortunately my sister didn\’t always pay attention to her cell phone (tsk tsk) and missed a lot of calls. But by the time the speeches were over, most people had arrived.

Thanks to everybody who wished me a happy graduation (and of course a bigger thanks to those who actually attended my commencement)! :D Pictures to come. When I went to the stage, I basically froze up. I got nervous about walking (DID NOT WANT TO TRIP) and didn\’t really pay attention. Professor Feldman laughed at my name card–I had written \”JENNIFER DAVINA NG (last name pronouced like -ing in running)\”. I smiled and waved, but basically didn\’t relax until I walked off the stage and saw my dad and sister with their cameras.

According to my friend Mae, a lot of people cheered for me. Yay. The thing was I had always wanted to replace my high school graduation. During that graduation, it was very silent…with just polite applause. At that time, my sister sort of forgot to cheer because she was videotaping. And so during college, I had always believed that I wanted to be better than that. And I spent the last few weeks trying to get people to attend (i know how superficial it seems like)…and thus that.

A big thank you to those who attended and wished me a happy graduation: my parents, my grandmother, my sister, Lele, Boris, April, Cliff, Mae, Aunt Susan, Jason, Cousin Jeff, Karen, Anderson, Peggy, Jefferson, Doug, Stephani, Christina, rescomp people, E, Fiona

I finally finished my photolog for yesterday. 24 pictures of my emptyless day!

Tomorrow is my graduation commencement. I am more worried about cleaning my apartment than being excited about graduating. UGH.

Misestimation.

My lease for my Berkeley apartment ends this Saturday (WHICH IS BY THE WAY, MY 22ND BIRTHDAY) and to my surprise, moving out is more work than I had anticipated.

I scheduled a walkthrough with the manager of the building. She came in..late (I had to call her, because apparently she forgot that I had scheduled that appointment). Then she proceeded to tell us how we must remove dust from the apartment. Not only did the blinds have to be clean, but all the wall edges (where the carpet meets the wall) must be clean as well. Currently, my hands hurt from cleaning the blinds. I did them one by one, but then eventually, I just wiped them all down with several downward swipes. So far, I have moved my stuff slowly week by week. Every weekend that I go home, I bring something back. Now all that\’s left in my apartment is my clothes drawer, my desk and my bed. I already sent home one of my shoiji screens (I sold the other one), my desktop, my nightstand, my toaster, the dining chair, all my food, my futon, and books. Ugh. Being old means that I have to be responsible for moving my stuff. :(