Sometimes when the remains of something are left untouched for a long time, it starts rot. And you only notice it when you smell something strange wafting in the air.
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LOOK I COPY MY SISSY. :D
Highlight of the Day: Getting my linguistics midterm back.
29/30. It\’s the highest score I know of. Because it\’s slightly curved, add 3 points to the score. A+!!!!!!! It\’s interesting how much I value an A now. Before college, an A was another grade. It just came so easily to me. And now it\’s a sign that I am doing something right. The problem is that…it\’s interesting how I get A\’s in the areas that I don\’t intend to study. Is this telling me something? Do enjoy what you\’re good at?
Lowlight of the Day: Cog Sci 101. Now any time I go into lecture, I feel like something is constricting me. I didn\’t do well on any of the papers (except for my paper on the contested concept of friend) and I am starting to get in the habit of my blood pressure rising any moment I am in class. This is how I become a ball of insecurity. No matter how hard I try, I just can\’t do well.
Excitement of the moment: Um, I was supposed to go running. I still have yet to find out whether I was accepted to the Visual Autobiography class.
Future Plans
• I plan to talk to my Linguistics gsi and my cog sci gsi from last semester. To you know suck up. I know I did pretty well in both classes so I am going to try to develop a relationship where I would feel comfortable asking them for letters of recommendation.
• I AM GOING TO VISIT MY SISSY IN JUST 24 DAYS!
• Cog sci commencement. I am not going to graduate, but for the first time, I am going to see friends graduate! :D :D :D My first college commencement! It\’s going to be on May 22nd in the morning, but it\’s all worth it. I\’ll be seeing April, Amy, Lulu, Jenny….oh and David at his econ grad.
Worries
• The summer. I don\’t know what I am going to do.
• Future after graduation. It\’s more than a year away, but still. Grad school? Or job? Will I be satisfied? Will I be living at home?
• Quarter-life crisis. I am starting to have this crisis more often. Every week, there is one time in my life that I discover that I am not satisfied with the way my life is heading. I am at the top public university in the world, but it doesn\’t mean that it\’s leading me in the right direction. My choice of computer science has led me directly in cognitive science which isn\’t giving me much future. Plus the way I handle with people…I am not sure what to do with it. People gravitate toward me at first, but I push them away so…fast. I don\’t like the fact that I am leeching off of my parents. And in fact, I only let them put $150 in my account despite the fact that the actual direct expenses of college (housing/board) is more than that.
me: CHEEZ, WHY DID YOU IM ME?
cheez: BECAUSE I WANT TO SEE YOUR TEXT!!!!!
I HAVE BEEN banished to the Sixth Level of Hell – The City of Dis!
HI I AM DIS! I thought the test was too conservative Christian, but that\’s expected since it\’s based on Dante\’s Inferno
MY RESULTS:
Level | Score
Purgatory | Very Low
Level 1 – Limbo | High
Level 2 | Very Low
Level 3 | Moderate
Level 4 | High
Level 5 | High
Level 6 – The City of Dis | Very High
Level 7 | Moderate
Level 8- the Malebolge | Moderate
Level 9 – Cocytus | Low
Worries of the moment:
– my monthly internet charge is going up
– my summer: to sublet or not to sublet; where is my job?!
– the future after college graduation
– BUDDYZOO: how do people know people I don\’t know how they know but they know them and they know me and I don\’t know them and it bothers me omg!
Doy, have a headache.
DAY LIST TIME!
Oh phat girl, don\’t you see what diets do to you?
Do you carry a brush with you? Do you carry a mirror with you? Do you really care what other people think of you?
I was walking with a friend today…someone I had met this semester. (HI AMY!) And she mentioned how it wasn\’t always so much fun keeping up with the old friends, but it always fun and interesting to hang out with the new. And I find that true. I prefer novelty over the old.
And while walking with Aaron to Mondo Gelato, he suggested that I have my 21st with my high school friends. To which I responded, \”I don\’t have any.\” And seriously, I don\’t.
The best advice I have ever received was: Move on.
So I will move on, but it doesn\’t have to be with…you.
Oddly enough, my cog sci class does have some real-life functionality. George Lakoff\’s paper on the reasoning behind the Gulf War. We see war as a game. A competition. Treating an illness is fighting a war. Corruption is disease. America as the Hero. If we didn\’t metaphorically see ourselves as heroes, then there wouldn\’t be as much pride.
On the side, my cog sci group did not show up to the scheduled session. I was the only one who arrived. UGH.