Yuppie party themes are bad taste

Posted on by
Reply

I’ll admit it. Like many San Franciscans, I relish in creativity, especially when it comes to dressing up. I love themes. And in the past few years, I love making food to follow a theme. Zombies. Vampires. Ghosts. Scary stuff.

And yet.

Cinco de mayo. And no, it’s not to celebrate Mexican Independence Day (that’s in September). Officially, it’s to celebrate Mexican army’s unlikely victory over French forces at the Battle of Puebla.

To be honest, I haven’t been invited to a cinco de mayo party yet. But after thinking about who I want to be, I now detest the theme. A bunch of white people drinking margaritas when there is not a single Mexican present? A reason to have guacamole and chips. Don’t get me wrong, I love avocado and would spring up for any occasion for that food. But there’s something that doesn’t feel right about Cinco de Mayo, if it’s only an excuse to eat Mexcian food and drink “Mexican” bebidas. And if a company is willing to comp me free food for that day, I’ll take the bait. But I’ll feel uncomfortable with the whole thing.

And what about the parties throughout this area with a flimsy theme? Mini party? Sure, that’s cool. Mini hotdogs, mini skirts, and mini cocktails. A white party? Yeah, cool. Ugly sweater party? Yeah! I still have my ugly sweater vest in my closet. Glow in the dark party? Yeah, my roommate and I did that in our early twenties even though it sounds so ridiculous and aimless now. But then when it comes to a Homeless Party, Geishas and Businessmen Party, or Nazi Party…that’s just bad taste.

Now I am not saying, don’t do it. It’s not satire. It’s missing the whole point to get people thinking. Rather it’s a thinly veiled reason to drink. And thinly disguised sexism and racism. Plus it’s not a good idea to have a party theme that involved a lot of people dying.

2014: Everything’s OK

Posted on by
1

What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright? And how will you incorporate that discovery into the year ahead?

In 2013, it was when light shone in the face of despair. In 2012, it was when I stood up for myself. In 2011, it was a moment of clarity, sincere belief and friendship. In 2010, it was an action of commitment.

At first, I wanted to talk about how my confidence returned in mid-summer when I heard: “I emailed you, because you’re the best.” A short sentence that provided validation that I hadn’t fallen off the deep end into incompetence.

But it wasn’t that. On the last day of the writing workshop in Maine, we were given an assignment to write in a point of view that we didn’t use regularly and a character different from our natural selves.

For the past few days, and really the past few months, I felt my writing shriek awkwardly across the page. I constantly repeated the same stereotypes and leaned heavily on cliches. The words felt stoney cold and not the warm ooze of comfort that came when the words seem to fall perfectly on the page.

That day on the windjammer sitting on a finished wooden bench, I poised my pen above my notebook and began writing. I was underneath the deck and huddled with my notebook and pen. Despite the cold and shivering in front of the small heated lamp, my ideas suddenly flowed easily. I had a narrative arc that poured out of me. And as I weaved a story from a small moment to another small moment, I felt the ease that I had. I felt the life that I had written and the vulnerability revealed. A gentleness that I sought.

My ability to write returned full force. It had never left me. Because in fact, all it needed was a little bit of coaxing.

2014: Travel

Posted on by
3

How did you travel in 2014? How and/or where would you like to travel next year?

In 2013, I finished off the bulk of the travel for the Ice Cream Travel Guide. In 2012, I started the journey of a life and went to what I thought was unfathomable (in my life) — six domestic destinations and eight international destinations — for professional and personal reasons. In 2011, I went on one international trip, one domestic…and one super local. In 2010, I went on one international trip and multiple domestic trips.

As expected, I was less than enthused for much traveling in the year of 2014. I wanted to stay focused as much as possible (and not to mention, make income).

In 2014, I traveled to:

  • Short weekend trip to Tahoe for my annual call of skiing
  • Short weekend trip to Los Angeles to Disneyland
  • A 2+ week journey throughout the Northeast stopping by “beachtown” stands for ice cream, a writing workshop on windjammer off the coast of Maine, and most importantly, landing at the headquarters and factory of Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream
  • Multiple business trips to Chicago, Austin, and Los Angeles
  • Weekend at a farm 2.5 hours northeast outside San Francisco with family for my parents’ 35th wedding anniversary

    • In the coming year, I anticipate that I will finally visit Michigan for my sister and my cousin’s wedding. But where else? Will I catch a whiff of a deal like the trip flights to Asia? Will the grandfather story lure me to my dad’s hometown in China and my grandfather’s adult home in Peru? Then will there be short trips to Tahoe (most certainly) or to Portland, Los Angeles? With now a cycling crew, will I be moved to do an overnight cycling trip? And will there be more dairy destinations that I must include? To be continued…

    2014: 5 Minutes

    Posted on by
    2

    Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2014 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2014

    2013 5 minutes, 2012 5 minutes, 2011 5 minutes, and 2010 5 minutes

  • Organizing and reading at Litcrawl
  • Organizing and leading the aspirational writing group
  • Finding a writing group of older, experienced people
  • Dropping out of a memoir writing group because the people didn’t seem right all the way in Oakland
  • Leading not one, not two, but three startups in a design thinking strategy exercises
  • Increasing and marketing my skills of design thinking to the world
  • Succeeding as a UX freelancer and still reaching the salary goal for the year
  • Attending many many advance movie screenings
  • Choosing the friends that I really want to be around
  • Discovering that I really enjoy cooking and baking (when it doesn’t include decorative elements)
  • Always meeting new people
  • Learning that some meetups are not really worth it
  • Reading almost 24 books
  • Visiting Boston and learning about a friend’s children’s book
  • Visiting an old style house in Boston with fascinating culture
  • Visiting Kennebunkport, Maine, the birthplace of George W. Bush
  • Staying and writing on a windjammer off the coast of Maine
  • Attending a writing workshop led by Pam Houston
  • Visiting all the ice cream shops and lobster roll places in the Northeast
  • Applying to my first writing fellowship (didn’t get in, but failure is expected)
  • Visiting and interviewing people at Ben and Jerry’s HQ and factory
  • Staying in the excellent Brooks Art House outside the Vermont capital
  • Driving through dangerous rainstorm through Maine, New Hampshire and Vermont
  • learning about real maple syrup and realizing that the brown corn syrup isn’t “maple syrup at all”

    • 2014: Next Step

    Posted on by
    1

    When it comes to aspirations, it’s not about ideas. It’s about making ideas happen. What’s your next step?

    In 2010, it was about dream making. In 2011, it was about sticking to my boundaries. In 2012, it was about being true. In 2013, it was about embracing fear.

    On New Year’s Day, I wrote goals up with Chris, following Pair Designing Our Relationship article on Medium. In it, I found the most common areas were writing and organization.

    2015 Personal Goal Setting. One of @seeetthere: "Be like Benny from Lego movie."

    A photo posted by Jenn Ng (@jennism) on

    In a writing class a few years ago, an instructor handed out a piece of paper. On it on large words, it said, “Sit your butt down and write.” Because her belief was that people needed to just write. So many people ask popular writers what makes them great—”how did you get so good?”

    “I just sat down and wrote,” they reply.

    It’s just that. There’s that study that exists that to be good at something, one must practice it at least 10,000 hours. It’s not about innate talent. Rather it’s about experience, increasing it every day…as much as possible. I have written in my blog for more than 10 years. And yet, to be able to write for an audience, that’s an entirely different matter.

    When I chose my top 3 goals in the pair design exercise, they were all about writing. Sure, I could increase the skills and knowledge in UX, but I have reached where I want to be (for now). But in writing, I am still only beginning. My next step then is: sit my butt down and write.

    2014: Entertainment

    Posted on by
    10

    No references to previous years, except this decade-long one. And this includes only things I experienced this year!

    The top five for each category in no particular order and with little exposition…

    Movies I Saw

  • Interstellar
  • Nightcrawler
  • The Guest
  • Kramer vs. Kramer
  • Big Hero 6

    • TV Shows I Watched

  • In Treatment
  • The Leftovers
  • The Affair
  • Homeland
  • The Walking Dead

    • Books I Read

  • The Artist’s Way
  • Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar
  • Stoner
  • Gone Girl
  • Just Enough Research

    • Ways to Pass the Time

  • Serial Podcast
  • Drinking Soylent
  • Learning recipes from Smitten Kitchen
  • Riding my bike with fun people
  • This American Life

    • Technology

  • Home automation like WeMo
  • Ebooks at library
  • The Cloud
  • Cortana
  • Swarm (yes, I know…)

    • 2014: Making

    Posted on by
    1

    What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it?

    In 2010, I made xmas photo. In 2011, I made metaphorical things—that were intentionally symbolic of relationships and history. In 2012, I made ice cream. In 2013, I made design.

    In the most boring thing ever, I made my room. That is, I cleaned it. Not my bed.

    I would have liked to say food, since in 2014, I hosted various events with Chris and made food from scratch. I would love to say that—to brag about the dinner and 2 breakfasts that I made for my parents’ anniversary weekend on a farm, the themed parties, the way I use buttermilk in biscuits and ice cream, and how I finally figured out how to juice as much possible out of all the scraps that I have.

    But the last thing that I “made” as my room. This morning, as I was departing to meet a (new) friend for brunch, I frantically searched for my timbuk2 bag. A black bag with a bright blue trim that stored my bike’s lock and cable. In a fury, I tossed up my pile of bags. The Crumpler messenger bag from La Cocina that I won during an auction. The vertical computer laptop. All the various canvas bags from startups like Gilt and Airbnb. In a moment of brilliance, I remembered that I had moved the timbuk2 bag out of respect for my sister and her boyfriend. In my closet, I found the bag on top of my duffel bag. Running late, I left the disaster in my room that filled every inch of the ground.

    I knew that upon return, I would need to muster the energy. Nearly 8 hours later, I did so. Yet, as I picked through the mess, a biodegradable bag from a grocery store, stuffed at the bottom of a canvas bag, spilled into pieces. Now, I mean pieces. Standing true to its nature, the bag had started “decomposing” in my room and shards of white confetti spilled across my rug.

    With some organization, I folded the bags together. The loose canvas bags into a large convas bags. The messenger bags underneath my dresser. The coveted “purses” to either side. Then I vacuumed the remaining mess, sucking away the white confetti, my hair, dust, and random dots of remnants.

    That’s what I made.

    If I had more time, I would make my book. I would pour my energy into truly fixing it. And I think that perhaps I have that feeling right now.

    2014: One Word

    Posted on by
    5

    One Word. Encapsulate the year in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2014 for you?

    The one word that captures this year (from 2013, 2012, 2011 and 2010):

    Progress.

    I had trouble coming up with a single word. I felt disappointment and rejection this year. At the beginning of the year, I resolved to work harder, earn an income, and finish my book. But depression and fear set in as publishers and editors said no. I poured money into writing workshops and writing coaches. Then there was an ambition to build my freelance user experience practice—to tackle unknown, intriguing areas. I had not one, not two, not three, not four, but five different intense projects this year.

    When I succeeded, I really succeeded. But when I failed, I really failed.

    But what is the point of rejection and disappointment if I didn’t learn from them. If I didn’t know what to do next time. The funny thing about progress is that it accumulates slowly. It’s not a magical cure all. Tomorrow, I won’t leap from level 1 to level 2. In fact, I may not move from level 1. But like every video gamer knows, if I keep trying and trying, I will succeed.

    So despite all that negative feelings, I did move forward. I did move my foot one foot and another. I may have looked back to see all the accidental fire. But I kept looking for the fresh air in the trees. I pushed through the weeds and drank the clean water when I could. Then when I reached the top of the mountain, I looked back, pleased at the progress. But then I looked upward. Because I want to keep moving forward.

    2014: Moment

    Posted on by
    3

    Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail.

    In 2013, it was talking to Yasar Usta in Istanbul. In 2012, it was using the ocean as a “big toilet” while floating outside Palawan. In 2011, it was my birthday moment. In 2010, it was the success in Journey to the End to the Night.

    For this year, I thought hard about the moments I had this year. Or as I learned from Pam Houston’s writing workshop this year, a glimmer. And for this, I want to answer with a glimmer that felt whole, that felt inspiring, that felt complete.

    I hesitate to talk about the disappointments and rejections. The way that I had to define my boundaries to protect myself. The way that I had to declare that you know, I really don’t like it. The way that I had to let go of a friend to heal. No, I won’t talk about those.

    Rather, it was this meta-glimmer at Pam Houston’s writing workshop. The assignment was to use a perspective that we rarely used (e.g. second person) and a character we rarely embody (e.g. an old man).

    windjammermaine

    By then, the frozen cold of the boat had shocked my bones. In the sun, the windjammer was inviting and adventurous. But as the evening progressed, the daylight disappeared and only the chilled air from the Atlantic remained. The cramped space in boat made everything itchy. The rocking of the boat drummed up nausea. I felt unclean. And my mind couldn’t rest to let the words fall on the page as they usually did.

    During the first exercise, my mind turned into mud and the usual stream of ideas did not grow. My creativity was stumped and uninspired.

    But suddenly with that assignment, I found hope. My pen moved across the notebook as my mind seized on second person and an older man. I wrote about a father attempting to connect with his two daughters. His desire to do what his own father could never do. The sorrow that dripped through his words over the telephone. The sorrow that was not heard by his daughters as they kept the call short. The way memories of his father’s funeral passed through his mind as he dialed the numbers. And the way how he assured himself that he was a good father.

    The words flowed out, but it wasn’t until I volunteered to read my draft to the group that I felt more complete. My voice, as it naturally is, shies away from public performance, but in this glimmer, I increased my volume and sat up from the stoop that I took on the deck. Then I began reading.

    “Have you done this before?” Pam said after I finished.

    “This is only my second time,” I said.

    “It sounds like you know how to write second person,” she said.

    Then later, a fellow writer a father himself leaned over and said, “That was so powerful. The most powerful piece I ever read.”

    I describe this glimmer not because I want to pat myself on the back, but because of the previous entry. I need to remember that there are times that I can succeed. They do exist.