I am going to make a statement today. I am sXe. Like this guy, I never really thought that I was going to be this way. But I discovered the word a few months ago and found out that my convictions match that of a sXe person. And thus, I shall define myself as one.

But I am still struggling with the fact that other people come to me and brag about getting wasted. Thanks, but no thanks.

“friend”: em drakn
“friend”: drank
Me: you\’re telling me?
Me: how was your party?
“friend”: great
“friend”: I got drunk
“friend”: puked all over
“friend”: yay
Me: good….for you….
Me: what did you drink?
Me: uh yeah
Me: how much did you drink anyway?
“friend”: a lot
“friend”: yay
Me: joy
Me: I am glad I didn\’t go
“friend”: o
“friend”: don\’t like drinking?
“friend”: man em\’s good
Me: high tolerance?
Me: I am glad you had fun though

go away, pretentious prick

Ever since the new neighbors moved into the house in front of us (in L-town), they have been throwing a party every year on Easter sunday. They\’re the kind that would remodel the house and brag about how great it is. They would also serve alcoholic drinks to the adults and orange juice to the kids…then have an easter egg hunt. The kind that dress in high-class clothes with stiletto heels. The kinds that would stand in a small circle chatting…about nothing.

That\’s the kind of neighborhood I live in. Upper middle-class caucasian surburbia with country clubs and golf.

So my parents dragged me to the party this year…again…although I really didn\’t want to go. Last year, I felt out of place surrounded by caucasian housewifes with a flute glass filled with champagne. A lady had asked me if I liked the neighborhood…and if I had any pets. Blargh. Also last year, my neighbor Greg (my same year) who was my pseudo enemy treated me like he was his best friend. \”Hey Jennifer, I haven\’t seen you forever!\” although i never spoke to you in high school.

But this year…was interesting. I liked the strawberries and I found myself hanging around the bowl of red strawberries the entire time. Then the Laus arrived again minus Greg. Note: when I first moved to this house, my neighbors of four boys (three boys my age, and one boy five years younger) would chase my sister and me around the block.

And oddly enough, Chris (the boy five years younger) decided to start conversing. He is a sophomore in high school now. It was an interesting conversation. When we were younger in elementary school, he would always stick out his tongue and go nyah nyah. Thought he was annoying then. But apparently, he got his politeness so characteristic of his family…and was pretty charismatic throughout his conversation with me (and my parents). And we compared our high school experiences. And family. It\’s interesting how people can change over time. As I left the party, I said walking out, \”Nice to see you have changed.\”

Oddly enough, almost every year since college started…I begin to struggle with the concept of a \”friend\” every this time of the year. It\’s always during the latter half of the semester that I meet new people. And it prompts me to reconsider my entire set.

I did get a excellent grade on my paper on the contested category of a friend. Too many of the parameters of a friend are value-laden. I find myself meeting people who can do the same exact things and act the same way that my current \”friends\” do. So what makes one person different from the next?

I am such a suck-up. And stupidly, I am still surprised how many people would wave when I am sitting in Soda. In all my past classes, I had always been the one that was lost or behind. But in cs182, I am sitting joyfully in my seat as people come by to ask me questions.

ASK ME QUESTIONS. yes, it\’s bragging…but it feels good to be wanted. Sometimes.

So I had a midterm yesterday morning. A 10 page paper due today.

THEN! A project that was due yesterday afternoon that I haven\’t finished yet, because I have a total of four late days. Should I use them up for this assignment (since this is the last cs project)?

BUT LOOK, I WASTE MORE TIME, in the lab. I am proud of the fact that I installed an Aim client for unix on my cs account. This is how I am using up my tuition money.