We had 20 minutes before the movie started, so he went to the bathroom. He spotted the restrooms and rushed inside, heading directly to an open stall. The toilet seat was dirty—ah yes, a guys’ bathroom, he thought. Closing the door behind him, he began his business.

Suddenly he heard voices coming into the restroom. Not the dark, deep voices he was used to in these private rooms. They were light and high-pitched, piercing the air and causing an immediate twist in his head. They gossiped about makeup, the movie, the people they knew. One said aloud how great it was to finally pee.

He panicked inside his stall and stood there quietly, hoping they would leave. But they didn’t.

“Is this door stuck?” someone said aloud, trying to push his door.

He kept quiet and just flushed. He stood there silently, hoping nobody would peek under the door. He flushed again as they left, signaling that there was someone there.

The restroom was finally empty. He poked his head out of the stall. Cautiously, he walked to the door. As he opened the door, he ran into a girl waiting to go inside. She gave him a weird look and he bolted back into the theater in panic.

Sitting next to me, he put his hands over his face. Embarrassed. Afraid that the cops will show up and accuse him of being a pervert. He curled in a ball and asked me to make sure the girl was nowhere.

I walked into a guys’ restroom before, but I didn’t get very far noticing the urinals and backing away fast. I ran into a friend as I was backing out. Laughing I said, “Whoops, wrong one.”

But I think it’s different when it’s male.

Outside on the deck overlooking San Francisco downtown at a rowdy house crawl party, I was making fun of my drunken Korean friend. Do you understand the words that are coming out my mouth? I asked in a shrill voice imitating Chris Tucker.

He laughed and asked whether there were any Korean girls around. I pointed to a faroff light in the downtown…there sir there is someone waiting for you! just move north a bit…

Suddenly another friend—a female—jumped in and started veering the conversation toward an unsavory topic. I backed away in disinterest (and disgust). But I stopped when she mentioned she asked the same question of someone I knew. That someone had fled when the question was asked.

In a sudden sobering moment of curiosity, I asked “Has he dated anyone in the last year?”

The conversation turned serious. She and I agreed that he didn’t try hard enough. He could have. We both said, “Yeah, he’s a good guy.”

My drunken Korean friend got bored because I wasn’t playing anymore and left us standing in the balcony. I told her about how he had tried almost 3 years ago, but I didn’t want to stay because it was too slow.

“What’s your name?” she asked.

“I am Jenn,” I said wondering if the name sparked a stream of gossip.

So we let the conversation flow a bit more. I turned to go back inside where more people were mixing drinks and talking. I ran into the person of discussion standing near the table covered with vodka, oranges, and drinks. He stood next to me and gave me a light playful shove.

“Hey, how are you doing?” I said and smiled.

Of a week that I thought that was going to be lifeless and full of despair, but it was full of a few expected events and many more unexpected:

Hearing of a shakeup at a former place I used to hold dearly