December 4 – Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year?

Chris says: He treats every situation as if he was walking in for the first time.

Me? This year, it was about applying a twist to each experience.

Game mechanics. And play.

Gaming is transformational. It makes you look at things differently.

The scavenger hunts that Chris and I took part of—from BANG to City Chase to the hunt within De Young…they made us look at places differently. The Journey to the End of the Night made us look at people differently.

During the latter part of the year, I became fascinated with zombies. And I thought about how I would survive. How others would survive. What life would be like. Could I endure with all the changes? It was play.

But it all came back to games. I have connected and disconnected with people over games, because they bring out a lot of the natural instincts in people.

As Plato once said, “You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.”

Final post of the amazing street food scavenger hunt.

It has been more than 4 months since I started it. In it, I exhausted my creative reserves for the better. At the time, I had been considering changing my career path because there was a need inside me for “pure creation”. I couldn’t find a way to get it fulfilled. Yet with the challenges of the scavenger hunt, I was able to exercised the pent-up creative energy. Like a monster, it was released.

There have been things that the entire thing has taught me. Despite my usual quiet demeanor and incredible social anxiety, I do love performance. I love being the center of attention for better or worse. I seek for it, perhaps for this drive to be noticed and remembered.

Yet when I am aware of this sudden moment, I am unfortunately very self-conscious. I want to immediately dive for the closest dark corner and not bear witness to what I often believe (though logically not) is an embarrassment of myself. If only I could separate those two parts of me.

In the fourth grade, there was a class presentation about some historical topic. I decided that acting it out—a monologue would be the best idea. I had rehearsed and it was fine when I was alone in my room. But suddenly in front of the class, I was in panic as I walked to the front. I don’t remember doing the presentation, but I could only remember the many many many eyes on me. But I really wanted to do it—I really wanted to be a performer, being able to influence people in ways I could quietly sitting at my desk.

I am thankful that technology has allowed us to somewhat time-shift performance so that we don’t have to endure the performance and viewing at the same time.

And thus finally a trailer that I created using the new iMovie! This sums up everything that went on in the month of August!

I have never been a fan of the horror genre. For years, all that it spoke to me…was jumpy scares, cheap tricks, and gore. Growing up, I was horrified by movies like Critters and Chucky (now how did I ever watch those—to this day, I am not sure).

But there was this Chinese Hong Kong movie that my grandmother was watching (back when she was ok living with my parents, possibly to share in child care). There was a guy walking like a zombie…but there was comedy slapstick. I dd not enjoy it all.

But years later, the zombie genre warmed up to me with Shaun of the Dead…then finally 28 Days Later. Then I realized. It’s not about zombies at all. it’s about the people who are dealing with the zombie apocalypse. It’s about THEM. The remaining humans.

A nytimes article put it together nicely:

Zombie love, however, is always communal. If you dig zombies, you dig the entire zombie concept. It’s never personal. You’re interested in what zombies signify, you like the way they move, and you understand what’s required to stop them. And this is a reassuring attraction, because those aspects don’t really shift. They’ve become shared archetypal knowledge.

There’s something so concrete and easy-to-grasp about zombies. Usually, you can outrun them. And it’s an easy shot (if you have the right tools and equipment). You know how they will infect you. And you know how you can hear, smell, spot them. They aren’t mischeievous. They don’t analyze problems and solve them. They cannot communicate (at least in most genres). They are…simple.

But when overwhelmed or being unprepared, that’s when they are dangerous. Sure, zombies may be a metaphor for disease such as AIDS (and it’s just this fear that got me a super-expensive vaccine for yellow fever). But it’s the simple concept coupled with the survival genre that is so intriguing.

In elementary school, I often was the last player on my team to get hit out in dodgeball. I was always that good at hiding and being passive in the background. Unfortunately, I could not throw or hit. To this day, I am always good at dodging balls. And like the previous story of this year’s Journey to the End of the Night, I can out-survive the masses. But in truth, could I survive once I am with others like me?

Goodbye Chicago.

Goodbye Los Angeles.

Having had so many experiences, I know that most people do not want to know what others really think about them. As an adult, it’s easier to compromise and accept. In an effort to attain happiness.

Every so often, it surprises me when a friend asks so bluntly. For the tricky questions that I used to love in college. The questions that would end up into long discussions, hurt feelings, unwanted emotions, insecurity, vulnerability.

Not many people have thick skin.