I gave a vague answer last year, but this year the answer is quite certain.

When it comes to aspirations, it’s not about ideas. It’s about making ideas happen. What’s your next step?

Not only do I want to rebuild, but I want to go set my boundaries.

I will still say yes, but I will say no when it does not feel right. I will go out to happy hour, but will limit myself when I am done. I will not let others make me feel powerless and frustrated. I will express my opinion without fear of judgement and retaliation. I will be myself.

“There’s nobody like you, Jenn,” I often hear.

Beautifully Different. Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different – you’ll find they’re what make you beautiful

Like last year, I always wonder about this. Perhaps insecurity and inadequacy gnaws at me, but I am always impressed when people stay. When they are drawn to me. (And why am I drawn to them?)

I know that I am sometimes awkward (appearing “cute” to others) and exhibit nervous naivete. From my mispronunciations, to my awkwardness around physical touch, and open declarations of my nervousness. Also too, I am dedicated to prioritizing time that I spent with others, sometimes sacrificing my own needs…to a fault.

Quite often, I hear “there’s nobody like you…this is why I love you.” In all, I am just being me. And it’s tough being anybody else.

In the last week, I have created schedules and plans. But that’s not really making. That’s just pure logistics and determining next steps.

What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it?

Different from 2010, the last thing was not at all “creative”. Last year, it was the digital xmas photo which I did not have the energy to make this year.

A few days ago, I created a CD. An archive of photos and songs. A gift. I was going to include essays—almost of this kind, but relented at the last minute.

Another was the cover photo that I chose for the new Facebook timeline. Having had a history of never changing my photo, I found a photo that complemented my standard balloons on my head photo. It was photo from behind and I chose that as my cover photo on my Facebook timeline.

Last year, it was a person. This year, it’s an…idea…and perhaps a person. The year isn’t over yet, so there are chances.

Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?

A former coworker and I had lunch recently. He and I had barely talked since I was laid off 3 years ago. This was the first time that we got some time…to really talk beyond the very recent happy hour.

When I first met him, he was heading off to Hawaii to get married. He had joined the company just before I did and was hired full-time shortly after. Within a few months, he told everyone that his wife was pregnant. He was older, very hipster and didn’t drink.

And I thought that was what my life could be like.

When I had lunch with him recently sitting in a busy restaurant, I asked about his situation. We were getting something quick at Tropisueño—close to his office, slightly further from mine. His face was full of conclusion—decisions made, a tinge of sorrow…and acceptance. He had just moved to the Sunset while his wife was staying in San Bruno. They were figuring out swapping weekly schedules for his son. He now was open to drinking alcohol from time to time.

“I just found that we couldn’t make each other happy anymore,” he explained.

My ice cream birthday moments.

Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail.

Not like last year’s.

I had brainstormed for the longest time trying to figure out how to celebrate my 29th birthday. And thought about how people often bar-hopped—how I wanted to do something different. How I wanted to be with my favorite people, but I wanted to have as little stress as possible. And then it came to me.

Ice cream.

Although the day did not start well, as I made the walk to my first stop…I realized how momentous it was. My friends—many who didn’t eating ice cream—showed up. Many just came because it was me—just me. Some traveled far by car, by taxi, by public transit. Some took a detour after another event just to stop by.

What was so fascinating was all the people that made it—different walks of my life. Most people did not know each other—typical of how my friendships often run. They came from: undergrad at Berkeley, grad school at CMU, work, roommates, brother of a friend, friend of a friend, sister of a friend, boyfriend’s friend, high school… And I loved that they talked with each other.

I watched them and that made me happy. Unlike last year, it wasn’t “active” in the standard sense. But it was watching the connections that formed as we walked from ice cream place to ice cream place…and finally ending up at my place. And how I captured every moment with the camera. So that I wouldn’t forget.

Change.

One Word. Encapsulate the year in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?
– Recapturing the “Reverb” series from last year

It’s the first word that comes to mind that describes 2011. I changed jobs. I changed my social media behavior not once, twice, thrice. My sleeping patterns are different. I started biking. I made many new friends and kept many of them close. Most importantly, I rediscovered myself. And more.

New people.

I never thought I would be riding a road bike.

For next year, I hope that it’s progress. For improvement and achieving happiness. Last year, I thought 2011 would be discovery, but it wasn’t…entirely. Sure, I discovered, but it was quite often a twist on what I already knew.

“I make connections with everyone,” Jeff said on Community.

But how does it last beyond the first impression? How do you know when the words so easily exchanged will exchange the same way the second time? And the promises made usually alcohol-induced are kept? Or is it all effort on both sides?

Every week, I meet new people. People who have moved to San Francisco. People who joined the company. People who are friends of friends or acquaintances. People who are random strangers through random coincidences. People with interests.

And there are only a select few that I remember. They are the ones that I incessantly stalk. They are in my “rounds”. They are salient when I come across something that they would like. And that’s in essence what a friend is, right?

How long does it take for valuables to be taken if left unattended? In San Francisco? On a busy street? In the Mission?

How quickly will the lure gather a passerby’s interest? Do they look to be stolen? Does a call into the wild say take me PLEASE!

Quite often, I bike without a lock, betting that I will not stop anywhere that requires my bike to be locked outside. Ever since the “accident” 2 weeks ago, I am forced to use my more expensive bike—the super-light Cannondale that is priced at over 1k.

Today unexpectedly, Sashimi and I stopped for ice cream and burritos. However, neither us had a lock that could encompass both bikes. One of us stood outside in the (pseudo-freezing) SF cold with the bikes—carelessly watching the bikes as the other went inside to procure the food.

As I was standing next to my Cannondale, a clear non-biker gave me a look and said, “That is a beautiful bike.”

He didn’t look like a bike enthusiast but I thanked him anyway, standing there warily.

But of course, there were a few times that our mind was fully distracted with something inside, with our backs turned for a full 30 seconds. But the bikes remained out there where it always was. And everything was ok.