I want to follow the journey of Holden as in the The Catcher in The Rye from Hotel Edmont to Ernie\’s to Rockfeller Ice Skating to \”THE LUNTS\” to Central Park\’s Carousel. Then I want to follow the trails of SATC to club Bed to Jimmy Choo boutique to Barney\’s to Charlotte\’s gallery (Louis K. Meisel Gallery) to Carrie\’s apartment stoop. I would like to see Seinfeld\’s RESTAURANT and the soup nazi. And the ghostbusters\’ firehouse. What\’s up with my fascination? Of something so fake. And so Hollywoodish. Ironically, I don\’t really care much for seeing celebrities.

It\’s more that it makes me feel like I was part of something important. That I was part of something that could be forever engraved in people\’s memories. Even as trivial as walking the sidewalk where Carrie gets splashed in the opening scenes of SATC.

I want to live without regrets. Carpe diem. And that\’s how I have been thinking of life here at Pittsburgh. I am never going to see these people again together in the same place. Our time is so limited.

So I\’ll spend the extra money for a once in a lifetime opportunity. Coming to graduate school is not about the education, but also the experience, the people I meet, the relationships I create. I thought that about Berkeley too. Life isn\’t about the work, it\’s about the experience as you do the work.

So I have been putting a lot of effort into planning the NYC trip during spring break. Now it\’s 12 people for the rental car and 9 people for the hotel. If I put this much effort into my homework and projects, I would be flying way high. Hopefully people haven\’t noticed how much I slacked in other things…*cough*

It\’s funny how most people wanted to ride the train to NYC (10 hours), but I was the only one who was against it. Now through the power of manipulation and ME, I have turned everybody\’s mind around. God, I am so good.

Next: road trip to 6 lb burger in Clearview, PA.

Right now, I am waiting in the Underground of Morewood Gardens, waiting to see Mirah (who I heard from MIKKKKEEEE, he who doesn\’t speak to me anymore because he got all LJ-snooty) in concert. Because of a stifled social anxiety, I didn\’t send an e-mail to the masters hci d-list about this concert. Because it seemed like everyone is \”busy\” and isn\’t that up to explore new music. Free at 7 pm today.

So I got here shortly after 7 pm and they still hadn\’t started yet. Out of a confused anxiety, I got in line and ordered myself a pricey teriyaki/vegetable pita.

The first act Anna someone… played a really nice set. She sang a cover of The Postal Service\’s Such Great Heights. So awesome that the music can be almost anything you want.

This is my first time in a coffee house type concert. And a concert by myself. I am sitting right now in back at a large table with all these undergrads float around me. Great music is playing in the background. Those grad students don\’t know what they\’re missing out!

EDIT: why didn\’t they do the sound check earlier?!

EDIT: 8:34 pm Emily of the Weeds was sort of annoying with her pickiness of the sound setup. Almost right after every song (and during one), she asked the sound guy why the sound kept changing. Why was the bass so low? Why was it all messed up? Ok, maybe I am tone deaf and couldn\’t tell why the intricacies were bad. But still, that ruined my experience of her set. And where\’s Mirah?

EDIT: 9:02 pm Now the lead singer of the lovers is doing her acoustic set. So good! Although she also complained about the sound. I guess it wasn\’t just the previous singer\’s high maintenance. The music is so good. Some lyrics are plainly there to fill up the time, but there are some lyrics like now that show express those hard emotions. And her voice sings carefully as if treading each note. That\’s what makes great music. So is this what they mean when they say to lose yourself in the music?

EDIT: 10:13 pm She played my favorite song Cold, Cold Water (limited time for download only!) It was better like this…acoustic without all those distracting horses in the background. Just her voice and her guitar.

EDIT: 11:25 pm Finally home. Mirah played a Dancer in the Dark -esque song where she had everyone trying to make noise with what\’s ever available. Some people were slapping bottles. A few volunteers were making noise with the turnstile and the metal message board. This was AWESOME. Only this kind of thing would happen in a close setting. Despite all their complaints of the sound and their many misstarts (I can\’t count how many times they were like OMG I DON\’T KNOW THE WORDS AND CHORDS TO THIS SONG!), this was one of the best concerts I have been to. And I went alone! AH THIS WAS ONE OF THOSE CARPE DIEM MOMENTS!!!

People often say they like being around happy people. That they will do whatever they can to avoid sad people.

And yet, the balances of both is what makes life so interesting. Last year, a \”friend\” avoided me for more than a month because she thought my journal was too depressing. That itself was betrayal. I personally like to spend time with people who make me feel whole. Especially with people who make me feel like I am myself. That I don\’t have to put on an act–the act I sometimes put by being all cutesy and innocent. That I don\’t have to be funny. That I could be the groaning cynical me. And it\’s ok.

Just a thought.

Oh yeah in other news, I got an egg from the fridge today. Then I prepared to crack it…over…the garbage. Was I that absent-minded??! I screamed in horror when I realized what I had done when I had intended to crack the egg on a bowl then break it over my pot then throw the egg shells away. Apparently, I mixed up the second and third step.

OH HEYYYYYYY…HAPPY MONDAY!!!

EDIT: late evening of this lovely Monday

So after thinking it over, I probably am still satisfied with being single. After almost a year of being unattached, I can\’t really imagine being with anybody. The tears, the strife, the hardships are almost not worth it at all.

So why settle for less? Right now at this moment, I am satisfied with the friendships I have. And especially with myself. Who else can know exactly what kind of candy I want? Me. Who else would know exactly how I would like to spend my free nights? Me. Who else would know exactly what kind of gift to give myself? (Like a 6 lb burger.) Me. Of course.

Today, I came home and saw a bouquet of roses. I remember the last time I got a dozen roses. It was totally uncalled for. And I had a pseudo-sinking feeling when I first saw them on my desk. But today, it was only a distant memory. Flowers die, but the act, the gesture you don\’t forget.

So I decided to give myself a v-day gift. An obvious moment of singledom. I ate Ben and Jerry\’s for a good 10 minutes. Then I went upstairs and took a 20 minute nap. Now how can a significant give such a great gift like that?

I was going to blog about the lunar gala and how I introspected about the judging of appearances overall in society. But now I am suddenly bothered by the prospect of spending A LOT OF $$$$ during spring break. What should I really be doing during spring break? I certainly don\’t want to fly back to the bay area. I would want to visit my friend at MIT, but I don\’t think she\’ll want me to hang around for an entire week. I want to visit my friend on Long Island, but I don\’t think she would want me around that long either! I personally would like to explore NYC by myself, but I know I\’ll get bored of that after one day. but isn\’t all of this relative? I still have the mindset of a naive freshman. Nothing is absolute. Everything is a perspective. If I think it will be horrible, it will be horrible.

The professor I work for recently got aim for the purpose of keeping in touch with his students. It\’s just weird for me. Although my supervisor at rescomp did keep in touch with his people through aim, it was ok because he was around my age group. I hear some people giving up aim for lent. From my current perspective, I don\’t even know how anyone can do that. I have to use aim to keep in touch with classmates and team members. Without it, people get frusturated with the waiting of e-mail, because it\’s too slow. The phone is too instant. The instant messenger is good enough for quick messages like \”where is today\’s minutes located on the wiki?\”

Why do people think I am innocent? Why do people think I am naive? Maybe it\’s just that aura I give out?

Lesson of the day: Do not do the bleaching in a room where I sleep.

So yesterday in a sudden epiphany I got some bleach and took my whites with assorted stains…and dumped it into a newly acquired $1.99 kid\’s sand bucket with diluted bleach (less than one cup). Of course, in order to claim possession of it, I left it in my room. So after 6 hours of sleep, I woke up to the smell of bleach. Airing out room now.

Courtesy of thinkgeek.com (if you must buy me something…think thinkgeek.com; note I already own the I am blogging this t-shirt), some little v-day loving for you!

roses are #FF0000
violets are #0000FF
all my base
are belong to you

I sent the hub (CMU\’s admissions/records/blah blah blah office) a complaint yesterday because I sent a request to have my student verification sent, but never received confirmation that it was ever sent. In the complaint, I was rather direct and blunt, but certainly gracious. So this morning, I received a personal e-mail from the main recordskeeper confirming that my verification was faxed.

This is one thing I dislike about CMU. So much of the administrivia is mishandled. The interface for their system is horrible. I needed to put my dad\’s name on the verification, but there was no space for it. So I put his name in the insurance policy field. I can\’t print out unofficial transcripts (unlike at Berkeley\’s Bearfacts) because I can\’t put my name on it plus they only display the grades by semester not by all semesters. And so on.

If CMU is supposedly a top CS school, what happened to their management system. Why must a private school be worse in their administriva than a public school?